We're going to Denmark! My husband, adult daughter, her partner and I are off later this month. None of us has ever visited Denmark before and we are wondering if you have any suggestions. My Grandma (Bedstamor) lived in Copenhagen until she was 25. She was a storyteller and wielded a mean aebelskiver pan.

Carol Beeler
York, PA

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You'll probably land in Copenhagen, Carol, so you can look around there. See the Hirschsprung Museum, a small art gallery with some gorgeous 19th Century paintings, and skip the big State Museum. You can find Hans Christian Andersen's grave in the big cemetery on Jagtvej. The statue of Gefion near Kastellet and the English church is magnificent, much more impressive than the little mermaid person.  Tivoli is fun, but even more fun is to take an S-Train north to Klampenborg and the huge Royal Deer-Hunting park (Dyrhave) with a hunting lodge in the middle and nice stands of beech trees and a great amusement park and also a horse-racing track nearby.  The trains and buses are excellent and you can get almost anywhere in the country. The clothing-optional place to sunbathe is Frederiksberg, if that's of interest. I recommend heading for the island of Fyn and the town of Svendborg from which you can take a little ferry boat over to Aero and Langeland, two islands which are great fun to ride bikes around. Rather flat, fields of grain, little villages of 18th Century cottages with tile roofs and little vinstuer, wine rooms, where you can get a simple traditional meal, the herring (sild) followed by pork (fleskesteg) or the rather rare hamburger (Fransk boeuf) or the Danish goulash (biksemad). The Danish Miami is in the north of Jutland, at Skagen. All worth seeing. A good country for hiking and biking.

What would you recommend as the best way for an actuary to break into show business?  

A. Morri
Lynnwood, WA

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Approach it rationally, consulting the statistics ---- the ethnic background, education, geographic origins, of people successful in show business and their age, height, and weight when they broke into the business ---- and what you'll find is that you're too old and too well-educated to go into show business and you should be happy right where you are.

Hi GK,

My husband and I and our two children (ages 5 and 7) are facing difficult financial times (I know, we're not alone). To avoid a possible foreclosure on our home, we are selling it and moving back in with my mother temporarily.  My mother is sweet and caring but can be a bit noisy and interfering when it comes to my children.  Do you have any words of wisdom (or encouragement) for a woman who will surely be losing her mind shortly (my mother can drive me crazy)?

Apprehensive in Texas,
Christy 

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This is your advanced course in social skills, Christy, and it will make you an even better person than the fine person you are. As a guest in your mother's home, you surrender a degree of adult autonomy and you must respect that it is her home and you must yield to her authority. No shrieking, no door slamming, none of that. If you're angry, slip quietly away and take a brisk walk and curse to yourself. Passive resistance can be a good technique, and also Killing With Kindness, or Extreme Courtesy. You need to be protective of your husband, whose feelings are delicate in this situation, and you need to protect your children from family conflict. But your mother has to have the right to direct and discipline young children in her own home if you aren't present and maybe even if you are. You have to respect her standards in her home: it'll be a good lesson for the kids to understand this. Expect the best and ignore the worst and you stand a better chance. This is a story that demands a heroine and you're her. Simple as that.

When I was 25, my young wife and I lived for a couple months in her parents' basement and her mother was a tower of kindness. St. Marjory. And when you're back on your feet and in your own place, you'll look back on this as a remarkable chapter in your family's life.