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A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

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Catchup script


Sue Scott: These are the good years for Jim and me. We mortgaged our car and went for a cruise, and it was so wonderful. I decided I believe in God. Not THE God, but A God. Anyway, it's a big step for me. And then I went to the internet café and I opened my e-mail and there was an invitation to a divorce shower. My cousin Joellyn and her husband Chuck are breaking up and he's moving into an apartment so of course he needs bedding and dishes and all — it just makes me so sad.

Tim Russell: Which one was she?

SS: The one who laughed so much. I just think— my goodness, if JoEllyn and Chuck aren't made for each other, then no one is. If they couldn't make it work, then what chance have we got, Jim?

TR: Oh Barb, don't get yourself worked up—

SS: I mean, what if tonight at the Crow's Nest, you meet your true soul mate. Moon Beam. And you fly to California with her.

TR: Now, Barb. I don't go to the Crow's Nest.

SS: Okay, so maybe you go to the Piano Bar to sing Rodgers and Hammerstein and the cocktail waitress catches your eye and starts putting extra maraschino cherries in your Pina Coladas and the next thing you know you're in a car heading for Montana—

TR: Barb, I don't think they put maraschino cherries in pina coladas. It's pineapple.

SS: Oh, you know what I mean.

TR: You know, Barb— I don't think you've been getting enough catchup.

SS: (SNIFFLES) Maybe you're right.

TR: Catchup contains all-natural mellowing agents that steady the nerves and get you past these little emotional spikes that come on when winter's over.

Rich Dworsky (SINGS):
These are the good years, we're sailing on the sea.
The sun is shining. The world's in harmony.
Life is flowing
Like ketchup on French brie

GK: Ketchup, for the good times...

RD: (SINGING) Catchup! Catchup!

A Prairie Home Companion Cruise is produced by Prairie Home Productions, presented by American Public Media Group


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