A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

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Men at Sea script


Garrison Keillor: And now another in our series of marital vignettes, entitled "Why Men Go To Sea" — as the boat cruises north, you'll see fishing boats — men setting out nets or lobster traps — hauling in their catch, braving the dangers of the sea — why do they do it? Why do men go to sea? (PAUSE)

Sue Scott: Are you glad you came on the cruise?

Tim Russell: Sure.

SS: I was thinking it'd be nice to go to that folk dance program tomorrow night?

TR: Uh huh.

SS: It was in the schedule — they're teaching a Norwegian circle dance where you carry a hanky and you wear bells on your ankles. Would you like to go?

TR: Okay.

SS: I just thought it might be fun.

TR: Right. — The woman wears the bells, right?

SS: No. The man wears the bells and he hops counter-clockwise waving the hanky.

TR: Oh.

SS: And when we're in Charlottetown, I'd like to go to restaurant. It's been so long since we've eaten in a place where the servers weren't wearing paper hats. There's a vegetarian restaurant there, it's called Leaves of Grass. They do a beautiful seaweed soup. I read about it.

TR: Okay.

SS: Well you don't sound very enthused about it.

TR: It's fine.

SS: Well, I don't want to drag you to something you hate.

TR: It's okay.

SS: Would you rather go to a poetry reading?—

TR: No.

SS: So you want to go folk-dancing?

TR: My ankle hurts a little.

SS: Oh. How'd that happen?

TR: I strained it, I think.

SS: I didn't see you limping.

TR: It still hurts.

SS: Do you need to see a doctor?

TR: No.

SS: Okay. We'll skip the folk-dancing. — Do you think I should wear my hair up or down?— Which way do you like it?

TR: I like it both ways.

SS: Which do you like better?

TR: They're both good.

SS: But which do you prefer?

TR: I guess down.

SS: Oh. .....?Are you sure?

TR: Up is good, too. I like up.

SS: Okay, I'll wear it up, if that's what you want.

TR: Good.

SS: Remember what day today is?

TR: Tuesday?

SS: Remember what this is the anniversary of?

TR: Our wedding?

SS: That's in February. It's such an important day to me I went to the hair salon. Did you notice?

TR: Of course.

SS: It's the anniversary of our first date. Remember?

TR: Right.

SS: Remember where we went?

TR: We went to see "Star Wars"—

SS: That must've been with somebody else. You and I went to the symphony.

TR: Oh. Right.

SS: Who'd you go see "Star Wars" with?

TR: I forget.

SS: Do you notice anything different about my hair?

TR: Different about your hair?

SS: Yes.

TR: Now? (THREE BEATS) Like what?

SS: I mean, the color?

TR: Is it lighter?

SS: It's darker...

TR: Darker! Right. I see it now.

SS: I had it dyed auburn.

TR: Right. That's nice. I like that.

SS: You didn't even notice.

TR: I knew something was different.

SS: What else is different about me?

TR: (TWO BEATS) Is it above your waist or below?

SS: Just look. Notice anything?


GK: Why Men Go To Sea.....because when you're out on the ocean (BIG BOAT MOTOR, WAVES, GULLS) pulling in cod (WINCH) no guy ever turns to you and says.....(

FN: Do you like my hair this way?) That's why they're out there. A message in the public interest. (GULLS)

A Prairie Home Companion Cruise is produced by Prairie Home Productions, presented by American Public Media Group

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