I Canoe; do you?
By James Callahan
The day I wore Canoe cologne
Was the day my mom didn't recognize me
As if she forgot who I was
And didn't remember the trouble I'd be
Every day around our home.
How I'd laugh, goof and fight
With sister and brothers even when told
To stop or she'd go crazy
But I wouldn't and she seemed fine 'til old
-I wonder if she was right?
The bottle belonged to my dad
And I found it at the back of a closet
A last memento of him
-his smell so hale and hardy, I knew it
and put it on because I was sad.
He died more than thirty years since
And mom had made it on her own with all
Of us to support and love
Working and crying and we'd try to recall
His face, hands, beard, smile and wince.
I feared losing what I knew of him
As years passed and life changed as we grew
And he wasn't here to see
What we were doing, but our mom knew
How I'd grown from Jimmy to Jim
And married and had kids with my wife
just like he did and mom said Dad'd be so
pleased with what I'd become
and I had to take her word and know
she'd remember, connect, his to my life
But now dementia and her aging years
Were taking from me just as they were robbing her
Of my memories, her life
And what it was like when, and there's no cure
To regain both our joys and tears
She's resting most of each day
And takes her pills, a little food, chitchat
About the time and weather
-Not today's, and thinks the dog is a cat
so I stay quiet as long as I stay
She's napping now and that's my cue
I kiss her on the cheek and say it's Jim
And she says Dad's name
Because she says I smell just like him
That's why I Canoe; do you?
About the author:
James Callahan, Ph.D. pastoral worker in Wheaton, Illinois, adjunct professor of religion at Elmhurst College, married 24 years, father of five beautiful children, lifelong Chicago resident.
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