A Prairie Home Companion from American Public Media: First Person

What's important
By Dlynn Walker
January 17, 2008

We have our grandchildren with us a lot and we believe it's our job to pass along some jewel of wisdom they might not get elsewhere. You know, things you don't hear people talk about anymore. Things like "don't talk with your mouth full." or "Always wear clean underwear in case your are ever in an accident."

We like to tell them about other cultures and what things were like when we were younger. We listen to what they are doing in school and what they are reading or watching on TV. We ask about friends and favorite pastimes. We say grace at meals.

We try to have dinner with them at the table and sometimes we even use cloth napkins, a table cloth and "the good dishes" so that they will know what dinner might be like if they ever choose to eat at something other than a fast food restaurant.

It's part of our family tradition that a family member gets to choose a favorite dish to be made at home and a place to eat out during the week of their birthday. They usually pick one of the fast-food chains geared toward children putting a lot of tokens into machines and begging for more tokens and then running around wildly instead of eating.

One night we decided on take-out and as "the girls", myself and two of my granddaughters, were sitting down to the table my husband set-up a TV tray and went into the living room. Both children looked at their grandfathers empty space, then me and then they got up from the table and went into the living room and stood in front of their grandfather, hands on hips.

They were visibly unhappy, but we were not sure what was going on. I sat at the table wondering exactly what I was witnessing when I heard my husband ask "What's on your mind?"

The littlest said "We want to spend time with you and you are not at the table."

The elder said "What's more important, football or family?"

Now, these children are eight and five and sometimes they make comments or correct us in ways that are not exactly what we would call politically correct. Adults do not always appreciate being reminded that they do not always follow their own rules. Often we forget what my granny used to say. You know, "What's good for the goose is good for the gander." so to speak.

I was not sure exactly how this encounter was going to end so I sat silently thinking, how is he going to tell them he justs wants to relax awhile and watch the game.

He said nothing as he picked up his tray and started for the kitchen. Finally he said quietly "Family of course. I wasn't thinking you would miss me. I am really glad that you reminded me what is important and let me know that you wanted my company."

As placed his dinner on the table I had several thoughts. "Wow, some of the things we say do make a difference." and "Thank you Lord, it's nice to know we matter." Followed by the thought that it's nice that we can all learn from each other and be open minded enough to listen and respond in a way that encourages family ties instead of sticking to the old adage that children should be seen and not heard.

We had a very lively discussion about many things that night and it was more interesting, broader in scope and had more meaning because we all shared it together.

We may not remember every discussion we have with these children and they may not remember everything we say, but we will all remember that we spent time together.

About the author:
I am the grandmother of five wonderful grandchildren and I enjoy spending time with them, sewing, gardening, photography, reading, and continuing to learn new things.