What do you call a musician who's broken up with his girlfriend?
Homeless.
Why do drummers leave their sticks on the dashboard when they park?
So they can use the handicapped zones.
How does a girl know she's dating a French horn player?
When he kisses you he has his hand up your rear end!
How do you get a drummer out of your house?
Pay him for the pizza.
How do you get a guitar player to turn down the volume?
Put sheet music in front of him.
What's the difference between a baritone sax and a chain saw?
Vibrato.
Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
To try and get away from that sound.
What's the difference between a musician and a fourteen-inch pizza?
A fourteen-inch pizza can feed a family of four.
Now Available:
A Christmas Blizzard
GK's New Holiday Story
A comic novella about a Hawaii-bound holiday traveler who ends up stranded in his North Dakota hometown.
Audio edition also available»
The Prairie Home cruise has become legendary on two of the Seven Seas and now is setting sail on a third, a weeklong spring break cruise of the western Caribbean along the Mexican coast, and it leaves March 14 from Tampa.
Stories of a Wobegon romance far from home, all delivered with Garrison Keillor's trademark humor.
Read the first chapter»Signed Copies Available»
The latest collection of Lake Wobegon short stories gathered from live broadcasts include Confirmation Sunday, the church directory photos, Pastor Ingqvist's leather bound sermons along with song lyrics and the "95 Theses," among others. Companion audio also available.
Order now!»