The Third Annual Joke Show


So the drag queen walks into a Catholic church as the priest is coming down the aisle swinging the incense pot and he says to the priest, "Oh, honey, I love your dress, but did you know your handbag's on fire?"

So this man went to his rabbi and said "I'm very troubled by my son. He went away and he came back a Christian." The rabbi said, "You know, it's funny you say that. My son, too, left home and came back a Christian." They decided to pray about it, and God said, "You know, it's funny you say that..."

So the priest and the rabbi were sitting next to each other at the B'nai Brith dinner and after a while, the priest said, "I know that you're Orthodox so you're not supposed to eat pork...Have you ever tasted it?" The rabbi said, "Well, yes, I have. A couple times. And --- I know you're supposed to be celibate. Have you ever...." The priest said, "Well---- actually, yes, a couple of times." And the rabbi said, "Better than pork, isn't it?"

Two Baptist ministers are talking about the immorality of the country today, and one of them says, "I didn't sleep with my wife before I was married. How 'bout you?" And the other says, "I don't know. What was her maiden name?"

So the Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the radio show and he's stopped in Connecticut for speeding and the state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" And the minister says, "No, just water." The sheriff says, "Then why do I smell wine?" And the minister looks down at the bottle and says, "Good Lord, He's done it again!"

A little boy and his grandmother were walking along the seashore when a huge wave appeared out of nowhere and swept the child out to sea, and the grandmother, horrified, falls to her knees, and she says, "God, please, return my beloved grandson. Please, I beg of you. Send me safely back." And, lo, another huge wave washed in and deposited the little boy on the sand at her feet, and she picked him up and looked him over, and then she looked up at the sky and said, "He had a hat!"

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Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

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