Prairie Home Companion - Jokes 1999 |
March 16, 1999
A Scotsman and an Englishman were riding on a train from Edinburgh to London. The Scotsman turned to the Englishman and asked him, "Sir, how did you like my country?"
During a meeting of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the Secretary of Defense said, "It's noon. Let's break for lunch and return in an hour. For you in the Army, that's 1300 hours. For the Navy, that's two bells. For the Air Force, that's 1 PM. And for the Marines, that's when the big hand is on the twelve and the little hand is on the one."
Olie was in the drugstore with his young son. The young boy pointed to a shelf and asked, "What are those, Dad?"
My Grandfather went to a magic show at one of the local theatres where the magician called him out of the audience and requested his watch as part of the act. After much hesitation my grandfather gave the magician his watch who proceeded to put it in a handkerchief and smash it with a hammer. My grandfather roared and the magician checked the handkerchief and then asked my grandfather to be seated without the watch. After the show, my grandfather asked about the whereabouts of his watch. After much stalling the magician suggested that he take my grandfather to supper, and ordered pork pie for dinner. When my grandfather broke open the pie with his fork, guess what he found? Pork :o)
"What's the capital of Alaska"?
Q:What kind of cookie can you fold up when you put it away?
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?