Prairie Home Companion - Jokes 1999 |
March 21, 1999
Q: Why do they bury lawyers 12 feet under?
This man brings his dog into the vet and asks the vet what wrong with it. "I hate to tell you this." said the vet,"But your dog's dead." "Oh no, he's not dead, look bring in another dog. That should arouse him." So the vet thought "Might as well give it a try." So the vet brings in a labrator retriever and it circle the dog. No reaction. So the retriever leaves. "See, what I'd tell ya, the dog is dead. "No, bring a cat in the will arouse him." So, the vet brings in a cat and the cat circles the dog and there's no recation. So the cat leaves. "Well, I guess he's really dead." said the man. "That's what I've been trying to tell you." said the vet. "Oh, by the way that's $850." "$850." the man said, "You didn't do anything except tell me that he's dead." "Well, that's true." said the vet, "But, he had a lab test and a cat scan."
Your Momma's so fat that when she takes a bath she first gets in and fills up the tub. Then she turns on the water.
A guy goes to see a doctor because his penis is orange.
Your momma is so fat, her dressmaker had to hire a surveyor.
A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only say, "Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some FUN?"