Prairie Home Companion - Jokes 1999 |
March 23, 1999
Scientists have discovered a food which takes away 98% of a married woman's sex drive-wedding cake.
A very old couple walks into Divorce Court.
A little girl and little boy went on a picnic. The little girl after a while and a lot of lemonade needed to go potty. So she went off into the weeds and stomped down an area so she could do her "ladylike" squat and relieve herself. She saw the little boy head behind a tree and decided to see if he had the same kind of preparation and degree of difficulty. He just stood there and whizzed and she thought:
What did the Grateful Dead fan say when he sobered up?
Define "perfect pitch" for a Banjo.
Why do the Dutch wear wooden shoes?
A Norwegian carrying a rock, a chicken, and a pail paused at a closed gate. He asked a Norwegian farm girl if she'd open the gate. She declined, saying, "You might make love to me." Snorted the Norsky, "How could I make love to you with a rock, a chicken and a pail in my arms?" "Vell," said the girl, "you could set the chicken down, put the pail over it, and then set the rock on top of the pail."
There's this bunch of bats hanging upside down in a