Prairie Home Companion - Jokes 1999 |
March 23, 1999
Papa Duck, Mama Duck, and Baby Duck were waddling down the path by the river. Papa Duck stopped, put his head between his legs, straightened up, and said, "My instincts tell me it is time to go north."
A man walks into a bar and orders three double shots of bourbon and tells the bartender to leave the bottle. The bartender, ever the provider of solace, asks "what's troubing ya man?" The man replies, "I just found out my brother was gay."
Comparing the easy movement of 35E through St.Paul to the mass confusion of 35W through Minneapolis:
Recently, Al Gore claimed that he invented the Internet. If thats true, then Mike Tyson invented the hearing aid
Michelle Pfiefer has a new movie out called "The Deep End of the Ocean." The Deep End of the Ocean also happens to be where her career is heading.
It is argued that "I am" is the shortest sentence in the English language. If so, "I do" is the longest.
A rabbi, a Hindu preist, and an attorney were traveling together late one night when their car broke down on a country road. They go to a near-by farm house to get help. The farmer says they will have to spend the night and go for help in the morning. However, he only has two beds but there is a cot in the barn. So the rabbi says, "I'll sleep in the barn". A few minutes later he returns to the house and says "can't sleep in the barn there is a pig in there. Jews cannot sleep with pigs". "OK", says the Hindu, "I'll sleep in the barn". He return shortly. "Hey, there is a cow in the barn with the pig". I can't share space with a cow, it's not proper". So the attorney say "I'll sleep in the barn". A few miniutes later, there is a knock on the farm house door, the farmer opens the door and it's the pig and the cow.
Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which
Why did the 3 dumb blondes freeze at the drive-in theater?