A Prairie Home Companion Online Activities Archive

A Prairie Home Companion - Jokes 1999
April 7, 1999


Pfizer, a local manufacturer of the drug "Viagra" was getting worried about the number of lawsuits related to death's after taking the drug. They decided to dispose of all their drug supply and decided the cheapest way was to dump the pills into the Chicago River at night.Guess what happened???Keep guessing...Did you guess??? All 52 movable bridges on the river went up!

Kathy Palmer, Wilmette, IL


What is Irish and sits on your back porch in the Spring and Summer time? Patty 'O Furniture

John Baum, Hattiesburg, MS


Mahatma Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. He also was quite a spiritual person. Even when he was not on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. Furthermore, due to his diet, he wound up with very bad breath. Therefore, he came to be known as a super calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

Craig Hillis, Woodland, CA


John Cleese was recently asked what the difference is between the US and England. His response:1. In England, they speak English.2. When the English have a World Championship in sports, they invite other countries3. When visiting the English head of state, you only need to go down on *one* knee.

Kathy Palmer, Wilmette, IL


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