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FIFTH ANNUAL JOKE SHOW
Joke Submissions
Here they are, hundreds of jokes, painfully and painstakingly categorized...the
good, the bad, the above average and the very, very ugly.
We received just over 1000 jokes for this year's show. A number
of them were used by Garrison and the cast.
Thanks to all who submitted jokes. And if you didn't hear your joke
on this year's show, try again next year. We are always looking
for more jokes.
The Final Joke of the Day:
Many years ago, a tiny island nation in the South Pacific
was home to some of the finest woodworkers who ever
lived. Unfortunately, no one ever found about these
legendary artisans since the only pieces they ever produced
were thrones for the king of the island. It was a tradition
that every year, on the first day of summer, the old
throne would be burned in a massive bonfire and the
woodworkers would present the king with their newest
masterpiece, an ornate and beautiful throne they spent
all year carving and shaping. The king would rule from
the new royal seat and then destroy it at the next year's
summer festival.
One year, a new king ascended to the throne and spoke
to his council of elders. "It's a foolish thing to take
these beautiful pieces of art and destroy them every
year! Someone should save them for future generations
to enjoy."
But one of his ministers quickly pointed out, "Sire,
this is a small island, and much of the land has been
taken. We have no room to build a museum."
Thinking quickly, the king proposed a solution. "I have
the answer. We will build a second story onto the royal
hut, and we shall store the thrones there."
The king's plan worked beautifully for a few years.
Every year, he would summon the strongest men on the
island to carry the thrones up into the second floor
of the royal hut and add them to the collection. But
on the fifth year, the floor finally could take no more,
and the royal hut collapsed, killing the king and his
whole family.
The moral of the story? People who live in grass houses
shouldn't stow thrones.
Matt Zimmerman, Charlottesville, VA
1999
- 4th Annual
1998
- 3rd Annual
1997
- 2nd Annual
1996
- Inaugural Show
Jokes: By Category
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On July 4th, help us celebrate the 35th Anniversary of A Prairie Home Companion and the Fourth of July with a free live nationally broadcast show from Avon, MN.
From Garrison Keillor:
“When I was 16, Helen Fleischman assigned me to memorize Shakespeare’s Sonnet No. 29, ‘When in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes, I all alone beweep my outcast state’ for English class, and fifty years later, that poem is still in my head. Algebra got washed away, and geometry and most of biology, but those lines about the redemptive power of love in the face of shame are still here behind my eyeballs, more permanent than my own teeth. The sonnet is a durable good. These 77 of mine include sonnets of praise, some erotic, some lamentations, some street sonnets and a 12-sonnet cycle of months. If anything here offends, I beg your pardon, I come in peace, I depart in gratitude.”
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Robin & Linda Williams are among the most popular guest performers of A Prairie Home Companion (they also appeared in the movie, have performed as part of the The Hopeful Gospel Quartet, and made appearances as Marvin & Mavis Smiley). This CD features some of the duo's best harmonies from the show. Among the 12 tracks are familiar fan favorites, including "For Better or Worse", "Visions of Mother and Dad", "Tied Down, Home Free" and the title track. A collection that is muy bueno!
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