FIFTH ANNUAL JOKE SHOW|
Old Folks Jokes
A young man was running through Central park
when he noticed a very old man crying on a park bench. He stopped
and asked if he could help the old man. The old man told him that
he was married for 47 years & that his wife passed away 2 yeas
ago. He said last year he married a 27 year old woman & that they
make love 3 times a night. The young man responded, "why are you
crying?" The old man responded, "I forgot where I lived!"
An elderly couple, both avid golfers, were killed in an automobile
accident. Upon entering heaven, they find beautiful golf courses
with perfect fairways. The greens are made of velvet, the water
hazards are crystal clear, and the sand traps are made of gold
dust. As they finish the eighteenth hole, the man is two under
par although he never broke 90 on earth. The woman, who never
broke 100, is surprised to find herself one under par. He looks
at her and says, "you and your bran muffins! We could've been
here ten years ago!"
Sam and Bessie are senior citizens and Sam always wanted an expensive
pair of alligator cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he
buys a pair and wears them home,asking Bessie, "So, do you notice
anything different about me?"
A doctor making his rounds at a rest home decides
to check out the cognitive skills off three old men living there
with a simple math question.
In nursing homes now, the nursing staff gives the male patients
cocoa and Viagra right before bedtime. The cocoa helps them fall
asleep and the Viagra keeps them from rolling out of bed.
An elderly woman, after painstaking discussions and much
A teenager climbs on a city bus. The kid has
spiked hair colored green, yellow, and orange. His clothing
is a tattered mix of rags, and his legs are partially bare
and he has no shoes on. His entire face and body are riddled
with piercing jewelry, and his earrings are big, bright, yellow,
and adorned with colored feathers.
Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).