FIFTH ANNUAL JOKE SHOW|
Ole and Sven Jokes
Ole and Sven are the best of friends, and they have these 2 girls
on the string, Lena and Olga who live together in an apartment.
One evening Ole and Sven are sitting in the bar getting drunk,
Ole turns to Sven and asks, "Ven do you suppose dose girls are
gonna make out vit us?" Sven says, "Donno, but I'm drunk enuf,
lets go ask em!". So off they go to the apartment where Ole knocks
on the door, Lena answers and says "Vell Ole and Sven, come on
in!" Ole no more than gets in the door when he says "Ve yust come
to find out ven you girls are gonna make out vit us"....Lena is
upset by this and throws them both out slamming the door on them.
Ole is persistant, knocks on the door again. Lena isn't stupid,
knows it's Ole and says: "Ole if you are gonna be so forward you'll
have to talk through the keyhole". So Ole bends to the keyhole
and asks "Ven you girls gonna make out vit us?" Lena is really
upset now she drops her pants backs up to the keyhole and breaks
wind...Ole is backing up and shaking his head, Sven says: "Vell
Ole vat did she say?" Ole says: "Vell, I tink she said TOOOSDAY...but
her breath is bad and I'm not askin again."
Sven was going for his morning walk one day when he
Ole and his wife Lena are strolling along a country road in northern
Minnesota. They notice a human head lying along the side of the
road. Lena picks it up, holds it up in the air and says, "Hey,
that looks like Sven?" Ole replies, "Can't be, he wasn't that
It's that time of year again, and Swen and Ole face
Sven and Ole heard of an organization that would pay $5000 for
every live wolf. They hunted for days, up and down mountains.
One night, they fell asleep around their campfire. In the middle
of the night, Ollie woke up and saw they were surrounded 50 hungry,
ferocious wolves. He said to Sven, "Wake us Sven, We're rich!"
#1 Olaf and Sven, brother norwegian batchelor farmers, went into
town and bought a new top of the line Buick Roadmaster station
wagon. They brought it home, parked it in front of the garage,
got a crowbar and a hammer and then proceeded to remove all of
the wood trim from the sides of the new car. After they were done,
they stood back, looked at it and Sven sez to his brother,"You
know sumpthin' Olaf? I think I liked it better ven it vas still
A Swen and Ole go duck hunting and Ole is very excited to show
off his new hunting dog. They are out in their duck hunting
boat and a couple of ducks fly over. They fire and a duck them
drops. Ole sends his retriever out to get the duck. The dog
jumps out of the boat and runs across the water picks up duck
and hops back into the boat. And much to Ole's dismay, Swen
doesn't say word.
Ollie and his brother Sven were working for the
city. One would dig a hole, he would dig, dig, dig, the other
would come behind him and fill the hole, fill, fill, fill. These
two brothers worked furiously. One digging a hole, the other
filling it up again. A man was watching from the sidewalk and
couldn't believe how hard these men were working, but couldn't
understand what they were doing. Finally he just had to ask
them. He said to the hole digger, "I appreciate how hard you
work, but what are
Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).