What Has Happened to Me Since Tuesday
October 22, 1997


Gkeillor: Good day, everybody. Today's chat is a micro-chat, a sequel to last week's, What has happened to me since Tuesday. Last week, we heard from a woman who had innoculated 300 calves, a man who was caring at home for five infants in various stages of potty training, a man who was preparing for a vasectomy (no connection between him and the day care guy), a woman who was cooking soup for hunters in northern North Dakota, an American in Oslo teaching Norwegian as a second language to foreigners, an Australian physician on his day off, and other folks. The talk was all about minutia, I suppose, and yet it led us off in odd and interesting directions, and provided a lot of interesting details. Novellistic details.

Gkeillor: That's about it from me. Jittery, cold, exhilarated. How about yourselves?

Betsyb: I can't believe anyone really wants to know what I've done since yesterday, but it goes....got up early, had breakfast with my husband and son who's in the 8th grade. Got my son off to school on the bus.

Gkeillor: You're leaving out something, Betsy

Rev-rob: Although I should be disappointed, I have to admit that, like last week, nothing happened of great import! Maybe that, in itself is noteworthy!

Gkeillor: More, Rev Rob. Level with us. You're with friends.

Bryan: I saw the first snow of the season on my way back from the haircut place today!

Gkeillor: Where, Bryan?

Redriver: I spent yesterday preparing the cave for winter.

Paul: I wrestled with technology

Gkeillor: How, Paul?

Gkeillor: Where's your cave, Redriver?

Myc: Last night was my second practice as first trombone with a local Big Band and managed not to humiliate myself

Bryan: One Main St., of course! - In Burlington, VT. You were here once for a road show, I recall.

Gkeillor: Good for you, Myc. What did you rehearse?

Gkeillor: Burlington had snow last night?

Paul: Someone added an upgrade, which left my version of a program unusable. Ended up with egg on my face. Again.

Card: I dodged deer who wanted to mate with my car..

Coach: I spent yesterday patching up a broken heart. Then she called. Now I'm not sure if it's still broken or mended

Gkeillor: Paul, I hate to be personal, but we're among friends: how did the vasectomy go?

Bryan: Let's see... last night I was at Big Band rehearsal from 7-9pm. I play t-bone. We learned a new number - Birdland. Neat tune!

Redriver: Northern Minnesota.

Gkeillor: Coach, you've got to tell us more. I'm an expert on romance but I need details, details.

Paul: Garrison, if anyone tells you a vacectomy is no big deal, they are not your friend.

Gkeillor: Birdland is---- who?

Betsyb: Anyone interested in a sunflower harvest update?

Gkeillor: Paul, I've been there, and then I came back from there. Not that big a deal.

Bryan: Burlington is having snow right now! Well, just Vermont snow. Not Minnesota snow, which is much nastier.

Gkeillor: Betsyb, did you get the sunflowers in okay?

Bryan: Birdland. You know, the tune done by Weather Report around 1978...

Gkeillor: So what does Burlington do in the winter beside drink latte and read collections of sensitive essays?

Coach: She's from Kansas. Now a big time wine person here in California. But a sweetie. I'm putting her on my all-sweetie network. All sweeties all the time. Tempermental.

Gkeillor: I thought Birdland was by Count Basie.

Gkeillor: What triggered the romantic upset, Coach?

Betsyb: We're still working at it. Snow is on the way. Snow is our enemy.

Gkeillor: And how big is big time? Is she rich?

Gkeillor: You're in the Dakotas, Betsy?

Jlaudano: The Manhatten Transfer also had a great rendition of Birdland

Gkeillor: Okay, but how hard is the trombone part on Birdland? Honestly?

Gkeillor: I mean, we're talking about whole notes, right?

Gkeillor: Musical cornstarch. No?

Gkeillor: Am I wrong?

Gkeillor: Am I being unfair?

Betsyb: Yes. It' really turned cold up here. Get ready. You usually get our weather in a couple of days.

Gkeillor: How far along is the sunflower harvest?

Gkeillor: Did you have to wait for them to get dry?

Coach: Good question. I have theories. Only theiries. But this is the most complicated woman I've met so I'm working on it. Fear I thinl

Gkeillor: I've known women far more complicated, Coach. Sorry, but it's true. Tell me what's complicated about your Kansas wine person.

Bryan: Burlington likes to host skiers in winter. It's our high tourism season, besides leaf-peeper season, which just ended.

Gkeillor: I specialize in complicated women. I should write a book.

Gkeillor: Bryan, don't you feel there are just too many pepper mills in Burlington?

Betsyb: We've really just gotten a good start. The moisture in the heads had stayed pretty high. Some farmers are all done....some like us are just getting started.

Coach: Were these complicated women you knew... were they from Kanses?

Gkeillor: Coach, we have a bunch of sensitive caring people here who are prepared to vote on whether you should throw yourself at this woman's feet or just move on. But you have totell us more.

Gkeillor: You're harvesting at night, Betsy, with headlights?

Bryan: The 3rd trombone part in Birdland is pretty easy, in this arrangment. It's a lot of synchopated rhythm. Got any room on your show for a big band from the smallest city in the USA? :)

Paul: Yesterday I had lunch with my five year old son. He told me he wanted to be a dad like me.

Gkeillor: Which city is that, Bryan?

Gkeillor: I hope you burst into tears, Paul.

Moose: Coach, all women are complicated. Just on different levels. Don't worry about her too much.

Bryan: Garrison, there are too many mills, period. Pepper mills, Jelly mills, Woolen mills, John Stuart mills....

Gkeillor: Did you take him to a restaurant or was this a peanut butter and jelly lunch?

Coach: I think the feet part I already... possibly part of the problem... she neglected to tell me she canned her fiance 4 weeks before we met... (we met six weeks ago)... Gee, sure nice of you to counsel me on this.

Paul: I did choke up a little. Beautiful kid. Makes you think you're doing right.

Writeresq: I was dealing with ostrich farm issues in Stearns County.

Bryan: Vergennes, Vermont. Supposedly the smallest city in America. It's about a mile square. Nice town. It just reopened it's 100 year old opera house after about 20 years being vacant. You switch to brief mode.

Paul: We went to a park and described the fall leaves. He says the real red leaves are boss leaves, the reddest of them all.

Gkeillor: Six weeks you've known her? And already you have problems? what happened to falling in love, Coach? The problems are supposed to come in a year or so.

Gkeillor: Sorry I said that. I take it back.

Moose: In that case coach, be careful. She doesn't seem like she is ready for any commitment now. You switch to verbose mode.

Rev-rob: My 3 year old and I made air planes out of styrofoam doughnut trays we got from the market. He thinks that plane is the greatest toy he has!

Myc: So what are the odds of two Big Band Trombone players being here on this site today?

Gkeillor: What are the ostrich farm issues?

Coach: Funny, that same thought crossed my mind. But then maybe we're starting low and zooming to new heights iinstead of starting high and seeking the depths.

Gkeillor: Good. But you can't expect full disclosure in the first six weeks, Coach.

Gkeillor: The fiancee is history. You can make him even bigger history, or smaller history.

Gkeillor: My advice is to make him small.

Moose: Coach, I suggest you just do what you think is the right thing to do. Follow your heart. Does that sound corny?

Betsyb: Yes. Sunflower harvest is different from small grains which usually get tough about dark. We can go well on into the night. And I'm sure we probably will tonight. Try to beat the snow. The sunflowers going into the combine snap and it sounds like a roaring fire. Kind of neat.

Writeresq: The neighbor just built a big house and doesn't want ostriches next door.

Gkeillor: Vergennes, Vermont, is not the smallest city in America. Sorry. The smallest city is an oxymoron anyway.

Coach: I did... well... almost... coupla small things I left out... I'm a fast talker. Heart on the shirt sleeve, that sort of thing... I know, big mistake.

Gkeillor: Do you drive a combine, Betsy?

Gkeillor: How close is the neighbor to your ostriches, Writer?

Cathy: Yesterday I taught a bunch of Emotionally Handicapped kids about ignoring distractions, and writing an expository essay.

Gkeillor: Don't leave out anything, Coach.

Writeresq: I'm the town attorney and am attempting to mediate the problem

Gkeillor: How old are your kids, Cathy?

Moose: How do ostriches handle the winter?

Bryan: Oh, also since yesterday, I made yet another batch of apple crisp with the kids. They love turning that neat-o apple peeler/corer/slicer thingy.

Gkeillor: Ostriches are mean animals and can rip out your intestines with one kick, right? or is that emu?

Gkeillor: Apple crisp never goes out of fashion, in my book.

Becky: Yesterday I put the finishing touches on two technical manuals (400+ pages) that I.ve been working on for about a year (not continuously). I like to deliver a few days before my deadline, so I.d been working on them for fourteen days straight. When I arrived home from the hour-long jaunt to the overnight UPS drop (it's rural southeastern Indiana), I logged on again to find an e-mail from my client asking if I would please make this one small revision to the manuals!

Cathy: My students are elementary school aged (8-11 yrs)

Writeresq: They are not there yet. The farmer is raising chicks on another farm and plans to move them there soon, after he builds a poultry barn.

Becky: I also received my Peter Rowan tickets (January performance in Lexington), enjoyed the company of a couple cats as I inspected the herb garden one last time, kicked through a big pile of leaves, watched a gorgeous sunset (all shot through with crimson and deep purples), and watched the Indians unravel in the ninth.

Coach: You're right though. The fiancee is gone. She ditched him after she met me. Hopeful message there? I went and sorted out my credit card messes, maybe it's ort of the same thing. Getting clean for the main event. God she's neat!!

Paul: Emu will rip your stomach out. If you eat them.

Betsyb: Yes. I found out after years of being the truck driver, that operating the combine is the best harvest job. It's the only time things have to run on my schedule. The combine operator rules!

Gkeillor: How many acres do you have to harvest tonight, Betsyb?

Gkeillor: Coach, when you say, God she's neat, you're saying a lot.

Booklady: We have problems here with Ostriches. I hear the Ostrich market is not what many locals thought it should be, so they're giving up and some are turning the ostriches loose. It's terrible.

Gkeillor: Where are ostriches running loose?

Bryan: I'll have to break the bad news to the Vergennes mayor. hehe -- then they'll have to tear down all those signs...

Writeresq: So I've heard. But one of the town supervisors went up to Milaca to investigate an ostrich farm. He says they're very clean.. They eat their own feces and thus leave no mess behind!

Gkeillor: Maybe you could start the World's Largest Coffee filter Bag Pile in Vergennes.

Gkeillor: I am now off ostrich meat for good.

Writeresq: Ostriches on the loose! Sounds like a Halloween thriller!

Betsyb: We have more to harvest than we'll ever get done tonight. Hopefully 60 to 70 if we don't have any breakdowns.

Jlaudano: Is it open season on them???

Coach: She's a masculine woman. I find that exciting (she doesn't look masculine, we're talking attitude). This may be more than you wan to know.

Gkeillor: No, that's fine, I guess.

Redriver: I don't want to eat an animal that eat's its own feces.

Gkeillor: The phrase masculine woman is going to get some fiery posts here, though.

Writeresq: Maybe the DNR can sell ostrich licenses for hunting.

Gkeillor: So how are you going to mediate the ostrich dispute, Writer?

Casper: Last night I talked to my computer using voice activated software. It is snowing here for the first time.

Coach: OK, how about feminine man. (NOT EFFEMINATE). I ran a construction crew for 20 years. But I do have great legs. And theyre getting better. Swimming you know. Good for what ails you.

Gkeillor: Where, Casper?

Writeresq: An ostrich egg throw at 30 paces!

Gkeillor: Casper, there are people nearby you could talk to. Why a computer? I'm only asking.

Casper: Warren, Ohio.

Gkeillor: There are people to talk to in Warren, Ohio.

Jlaudano: You can always sell the meat to the alligator farmers

Gkeillor: By the way, is that named for Warren G. Harding, a native of Ohio?

Rev-rob: You think we could have Paul tell us about his Last Week's Procedure? Sounds like it wasn't all its cracked up to be!

Gkeillor: Paul?

Betsyb: As soon as our 8th grade son gets home from school, he'll operate our other combine. Then it's truly a family affair. My husband gets to be the truck driver. I hope he's very busy hauling away the bountiful yield.

Moose: It's snowed so hard here already that you couldn't see in front of you. Trucks had to pull over.

Writeresq: Seriously, both sides have lawyers, so maybe we can work it out without anyone getting egg on their face.

Paul: I just don't know if I'm ready to talk about it. Too sensitive.

Gkeillor: Is combining something that a person of reasonable intelligence (me) could pick up in a few hours? Days? Weeks?

Bryan: Let see... um, I added to my genealogy database. I'm cleaning out the undesireable relatives (just kidding). So far I have about 7000 people in there that are related to me somehow. Whee.

Gkeillor: You don't need to if you don't want to.

Casper: It can help people that I work with type without using their hands.

Gkeillor: Anyone we know, Bryan?

Gkeillor: I see, Casper. Who do you work with?

Gkeillor: I thought that voice-activated computer stuff was pretty unreliable still.

Paul: It was the pulling on the cords that got me. You'll be happy to know that I was reading Leaving Home while the war was going on.

Bryan: Let's see... General Lewis Cass is in there. He's a 6th cousin, 4 times removed. Think I could hit up his progeny for some cash? ;)

Betsyb: Sure. It's not brain surgery. You just have to be careful and you get the hang of it pretty quick. It helps to have a patient instructor.

Gkeillor: Cass County in Minnesota is named for him and it's one of the poorest counties in the state. Sorry to be the one to tell you.

Booklady: There are a lot of cattle ranches here, so the roads outside the cities tend to be very dark, narrow, and they are long because they go around the ranches for the most part. It's dangerous driving out there at night and the local kids can't seem to do

Bryan: Lewis was a Secretary of War, Governor of Michigan, and presidential candidate in the 1840, by the way.

Writeresq: I'm originally from Ohio, and don't know of any place there that admitted to a connection with Warren Harding. In fact, my first love was from Warren, Ohio.

Paul: Tell me about it. I told the doctor I was going to bring in a romance novel, but thought that wouldn't be appropriate.

Gkeillor: What was her name? perhaps Casper knows her.

Gkeillor: I'm touched that you read my work during a vasectomy. Really touched.

Gkeillor: Can I use that as a blurb on the jacket?

Casper: I work with professors who write books and have carpal tunnel syndrome. Also I can now cross stitch or knit while writing at home.

Bryan: Heh... same thing with Cass County, Michigan, I reckon.

Paul: Perhaps you would sign it for me. The book that is?

Gkeillor: Is carpal tunnel syndrome something we should be worrying about right now, Casper?

Gkeillor: Of course. I sign anything.

Gkeillor: Books. Shirts. Casts.

Gkeillor: Shirts with people inside them even.

Gkeillor: Bettsyb, do you have any trenchant advice on combining?

Moose: Yesterday I spent the day with my cousins. When it was clear last night I showed them all of the star constellations. It's amazing to watch a child's eyes when they learn something new.

Steve: Garrison, you may be interested to know that a Norwegian construction conglomerate just came to the rescue here in Philadelphia, agreeing yesterday to buy the old Naval Shipyard, build 3 new ships by 2000, and employ 1000 workers. Presumably the ships will be used to transport Aqua Vie across the equator.

Writeresq: I've seen your name on a bookstore wall.

Gkeillor: Moose, you know ALL the constellations?

Rev-rob: Paul, do you still have your cast on?

Myc: Actually there is a pamphlet of recommended reading for vascetomies, Leaving Home is at the top of the list

Paul: The doctor who did the dirty deed to me said he hadn't heard APHC. I almost got off the table right there. The nerve.

Casper: Yes it affects 0.1% of the population and as much as 15% in occupations that use typing.

Jlaudano: Do you pray to St. Peter when you are going in for a vasectomy???

Gkeillor: That's Aquavit, Steve. (Unless you meant Aqua Velva.) You want to get as much aquavit as possible out of Philly. Those people aren't up for it. It's strictly for Scandinavians.

Card: why leave home? another girl around the block with same problem

Paul: You pray to whomever will listen.

Redriver: I listened to your interview with Terry Gross last night. You seem to make her nervous.

Gkeillor: I thought I made her laugh.

Gkeillor: Was it nervous laughter?

Gkeillor: She's a terrific interviewer, nervous or not.

Lobo: Wouldn't you want to avoid humor following surgery. It would hurt when you laugh.

Gkeillor: I avoid surgery so I can have humor.

Gkeillor: Any lurkers want to join in, just jump in.

Brad: I've used Leaving Home as a text in English. My students like it, but their essays are not normally as funny as yours. At least not intentionally.

Gkeillor: We're talking about what we did since Tuesday.

Gkeillor: There's a wonderful collection called Best Essays of 1996, edited by Ian Frazier. You should get it for your students, Brad. Paperback.

Lobo: My Danish grandfather always enjoyed a drink of aquavit.

Timt: English farmer and lurker says hi

Betsyb: It's long hours of back and forth. A good radio helps, although talk radio drives me nut.

Gkeillor: Yes, Lobo, but he knew to take it with herring. Not straight, with ice.

Bryan: Um... I read a book called Rebel to Redcoat.... It's a diary of a Rev. War soldier who started on the British side and ended up fighting for the rebels.

Elyn: Yesterday was my daughter's birthday - she just turned twenty.

Gkeillor: Where you farming, Timt?

Bryan: I mean, Redcoat to Rebel...

Eln: Since Tuesday I have raked my yard, 10 bags

Gkeillor: Elyn, where did you go for her birthday?

Jlaudano: I spent most of my day answering Drug Information questions at work. I work for a large pharmaceutical company. You can't make some of these questions up!!!

Gkeillor: EIn, is it really necessary to rake lawns?

Gkeillor: Or is that a scam run by the plastic bag industry?

Brad: I fixed a clothes dryer myself. Not bad for an English teacher. I know the Best Essays book, and I agree--it's great.

Casper: Our furnace failed its snowing, it will be 20 degrees tonight.

Gkeillor: Jlaudano, what questions?

Timt: Near to the welsh border bandit country , worked on a farm in Wi once too

Paul: I could use some painkillers, Jlaudano.

Gkeillor: What are you raising there?

Elyn: We didn't even get to see her - she was busy at school all day long and half the night.

Eln: I have started reading The Book of Ruth

Robh: Since Tuesday, I've allowed leaves to pile up in my compost pile.

Gkeillor: Elyn, can't a girl sit still for her own birthday?

Jlaudano: For instance. People asking about why a particular suppository did not work, when in fact they forgot to unwrap them!!

Gkeillor: EIn, it's a short book. Aren't you near the end?

Lobo: He would drink it straight as I recall. We always gave him a bottle for his birthday.

Timt: Beef and winter grains (beef thats mad as hell !)

Bryan: Let's see, what else... Got up at 2 am when our 3 year old climbed in bed...He's all elbows and knees. Put him back to bed. Then the 7 year old woke up at 6:30 wheezing... Ah, parenthood. :)

Gkeillor: Okay, no more suppository references. Especially if we're also discussing aquavit.

Elyn: Apparently not! And the boyfriend sent a dozen roses that she hasn't seen yet - they are sitting here waiting for her...

Gkeillor: Isn't beef sort of a risky proposition in England still? I mean aren't consumers still off it?

Paul: Yesterday I emailed my editor, wanting to know about the progress of my book. It's about conspiracy theories, the stuff talk radio is made from.

Betsyb: All right, Timt!

Gkeillor: Elyn, you need to schedule an appt with yr daughter.

Gkeillor: Paul, the President and I have asked your publisher not to put that book out yet.

Eln: The Book of Ruth is one of those Oprah books. I already read She's Come Undone

Timt: thet are now eating more than pre-crisis levels, fickle creatures cosumers

Gkeillor: Bettsyb, sunflower empress, meet Timt, English beef raiser.

Paul: I KNEW IT!

Elyn: Yes, you're right. I'll beep her when the chat is over.

Gkeillor: Oh, so you're not referring to the book of Ruth in the Bible?

Dlandru: Tuesday-hmmmm...at 1 yesterday I had a call from my 17 yr old daughter's school-3 hours away, that she had collapsed in class. I spoke to her before she went to the Hospital then I packed a suitcase for her mother who came home, got said case & drove. The hospital blamed it on medication after taking full advantage of our med ins., & sent her back to school where she & her mother had a nice evening. I paced alot & made myriad phone calls while caring for 5 children. Today is better.

Gkeillor: Your daughter has a BEEPER?

Etsugradstudent: Since Tues. I had dinner with my son at school

Brendarm: Hullo- jumping in, maybe! Walked the dog (gorgeous day yesterday), night school in the evening.

Gkeillor: Glad today is better, Dlandru. That's scary.

Gkeillor: What studying, Brenda?

Betsyb: Funny how consumers think we farmers lay awake at night trying to figure out how to poison the water, soil, and them too.

Card: The deer are eating my cayenne peppers, they must be migratory..

Elyn: Sounds ridiculous, but it was actually for personal safety - rather than give her home phone number out to the hopeful fellows, she can give her beeper number and decide whether or not she wants to call them back.

Gkeillor: I thought cayenne was safe from deer.

Gkeillor: She must be the most beautiful girl in town.

Jlaudano: Another quesion we received yesterday was how do I get this oral antibiotic suspension out of my child's ear?

Brad: Card, if the deer aren't migratory now, they will be after eating the peppers.

Casper: We started painting our kitchen. Everything is scattered in the livingroom and diningroom. Its too cold to finish painting.

Gkeillor: I never heard of a child having a beeper, except in NY or LA.

Cathy: Hey, I'm a consumer, and farmers are alright in my book!!

Card: A southern strain of whitetail..

Elyn: I think so, but I'm slightly biased! ;)

Gkeillor: Casper, you have to finish painting. Don't postpone a paint job, especially not in the kitchen.

Brendarm: Medical Transcription - attempt at a career change and a chance to earn big bucks at home:-)

Elyn: And this would be New York, GK.

Gkeillor: Elyn, how is the beeper girl doing in school, okay?

Brad: My daughter (Infantina) is 20 and has a beeper -- because she's in theater and is often a stage manager whom actors have to reach with excuses.

Timt: Thank you for that , we are not popular with bri consumers, we are trying to poison them all, or so the papers say !

Gkeillor: Coach, we need to reach a resolution on you and the Kansas woman who is complicated.

Elyn: She's doing very well - she's got a 3.5 GPA but we're hoping she can bring that up a bit.

Coach: I agree

Gkeillor: Well, the beef testing program in the UK is dreadful, no? and then the government tried to keep the thing covered up. Is that unfair?

Dlandru: Card might try mixing habeneros in with her cayennes. Of course PETA might disagree. & Family Farmers-Never have so few grown so much for so many for so little in return. Family Farmers should be made Nat'l Treasures. I lived on a farm for a year when I was 12. It was the hardest work I ever loved. Hats off to ye all.

Gkeillor: Elyn, a 3.5 is good enough for anybody. Anybody.

Coach: You're the counselor... shoot!

Casper: I get to eat out every night until we are finished. I can't sweep the floors. I get to read books instead of work.

Gkeillor: Coach, what is the big complication?

Gkeillor: Casper, a non-working kitchen will break up your marriage.

Gkeillor: A good kitchen is a key to everything.

Timt: unfair and expensive, we are still hurting and the real truth will never come out, thats politics for you

Gkeillor: Elyn, you can't possibly demand better than a 3.5. You're breaking my hart.

Brad: I second Dlandru. I used to spend every summer on my grandparents' farm, up until I was 12 or 13. Hard work, but not a bad way to live.

Jlaudano: Unless you have Lutfisk in the kitchen

Gkeillor: Heart, I meant to say.

Bryan: The kitchen used to be the focal point of the home, in the olden days.

Gkeillor: Still is.

Paul: That's why I got married. To hear the words, Dinner's Ready!

Curtis: I agree. I'm making red beans and rice right now

Elyn: It's not my demand - she sees Grad school on the horizon and they want a 4.0 for admission!

Coach: I'm back to guessing. I'm a hopeless romantic (I'm convinced most men are). II guess I want a torrid love affair and I think she's still coming off old stuff.

Gkeillor: You stay in bed, Paul, and keep that ice pack in place.

Gkeillor: No grad school expects a 4.0.

Timt: too right

Gkeillor: Coach, you have to sweep her off her feet.

Card: We're having dirty rice!

Dlandru: In Miss., & Ind. rural commuinities, every one who came to visit(unless they were wearing a suit on a weekday) came to the kitchen door, not the front.

Gkeillor: Grade anxiety is detrimental to getting an education. We have to help our kids learn how to fail.

Gkeillor: I just said something terribly wise.

Gkeillor: So, Coach, you think she is still thinking about the old flame?

Curtis: how can you get a 4.0 from a 3.5?

Gkeillor: Is that a math problem?

Bryan: Oh boy, that's a hot button.... dumbing down the educational system.

Paul: That's so true about the grad anxiety.

Casper: We know all the waitresses . When we walk in they say, Hello again.

Elyn: You're right - failing is a very hard thing to do...not something we do naturally...

Booklady: Coach! Is she any good in the kitchen? Are you?

Gkeillor: School is to learn and to learn how to love learning. It isn't a contest.

Gkeillor: Coach, do you want to put this to an up and down vote?

Brad: I once tried to teach an English class without grading -- just editing with the students and asking for many rewrites. Halfway through, the students asked me to start grading their papers. Sigh.

Coach: No, the old flames gone. But she was engaged less than a month ago. Has to be residue. And sweeping her off her feet was my mistake. Too early. Orchids in her hotel room she wasn't ready for.

Gkeillor: Casper, come to your senses. You can't lead a cafe life in Warren, Ohio. That's for NYers.

Jlaudano: yes, let's all vote on it!!!

Coach: How many voting? Are they romantics?

Lobo: Coach, whatever you do, be sincere, not a phony.

Gkeillor: We're all romantics, Coach. It's the universal disease.

Paul: There's other fish, Coach.

Bird: Whats the question we are voting on?

Gkeillor: If you love her, if you love her company, be sure she knows it.

Coach: OK, gulp, go for it. Up or Down?

Gkeillor: We're voting on whether Coach sticks with the complicated wine-lady from Kansas or takes up sunflower combining.

Booklady: Let's hear from the woman before we vote.

Gkeillor: No, this is Coach's moment.

Brad: Or if you can't actually BE sincere, at least fake sincerity.

Gkeillor: I say Yes, Coach.

Betsyb: I vote for the sunflower combining!

Gkeillor: Kansas is a big recommendation.

Bryan: I say, she needs a man like you. Stick with it.

Gkeillor: I know a woman from Kansas and she's the salt of the earth.

Bryan: Man, I'm glad I'm married. I can't see the allure of divorce when starting all over again is so stressful.

Brad: If you love her, stick with wooing her.

Booklady: I vote for the sunflowers.

Coach: Yessss!!!!

Gkeillor: No, he's not married to her, Bryan. Just fooling around.

Jlaudano: Stick with your lady!!! (this from a male who has also Been through it

Paul: Coach, I don't know you, but I feel your pain. Right now I feel a lot of pain. . .

Bird: Is he sensitive sorta guy or he really into farming? Maybe he can have both!

Writeresq: At least the seeds won't talk back!

Elyn: Go for it, Coach....

Cathy: I say, go for it, Coach. If it isn't forever, at least give it today!

Gkeillor: She's a wine person, Bird. Not a sunflower person. She put farming behind her when she left Kansas.

Lobo: If you don't try, you may always have regrets. I vote yes.

Dlandru: I abstain on the grounds that Coach may not have considered 100% of his options. Patient contemplation will set the foundation for a permanent relationship.

Writeresq: If it's a fling, go with the lady!

Gkeillor: I have tears in my eyes. I hear violins.

Gkeillor: I hear Barbra singing.

Coach: I liked the last bit on your last weeks show. Sometimes do nothing. Wait.. That's what I'm going to do. Thanks guys

Jlaudano: She could always tend the grapes??

Gkeillor: Coach???what???

Gkeillor: Do nothing????

Betsyb: Snap out of it!

Booklady: To Coach's lady: Run, girl, run!!!

Card: Prenuptial agreements are in order..

Coach: Balls in her court. I'm here when...

Gkeillor: Well, okay. You're the coach. Your word goes.

Bryan: Aw. Indecision is the tragedy of the 90's. :(

Gkeillor: Agreed, Bryan.

Nellie: Combining is more wholesome than drinking wine.

Coach: Sometimes you just need to let the fish run. Gulp.

Gkeillor: Would you like to repunctuate balls in her court, coach?

Dlandru: Hats off to the coach

Gkeillor: A little too trenchant for us.

Elyn: Ditto.

Gkeillor: Well, my time is up, folks. Got to go to work.

Bryan: Sometimes the fish just gulps. Run!

Gkeillor: Thanks. Let's form a sort of semipermanent support group.

Coach: '

Gkeillor: The Wednesday Lunch Group. We can take turns cooking.

Betsyb: Thanks, it was a good time. Back to the combine.

Writeresq: Thanks, Garrison. Sounds good.

Bird: Was great talking to ya!

Gkeillor: I'll speak to the computer gurus about it.

Brad: Thanks, Mr. Keillor. This is fun.

Coach: Yes, enjoyed this, more soon?

Gkeillor: This is the only social life I have.

Casper: Thanks. Do this again soon. It is great fun.

Gkeillor: It's almost more than I can take.

Writeresq: Sunflower seed soup, anyone?

Dlandru: I still want Card's recipie for Dirty Rice.

Gkeillor: I am going to go write this all in my journal.

Gkeillor: So long.

Card: Bye, Mr. Keillor!!

Return to Lunchtime Chat Index.

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

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