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GK responds to queries on topics from childbearing to potato salad, with a little bookstore fetish in between.
Here's your chance to ask GK your most pressing questions—about the writing life, the radio life, Lake Wobegon, Guy Noir, whatever you like. Also, feel free to send feedback about the show. Honest comments and criticism are always welcome! Send your own post to the host. |
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October, 2000
Hi!
I'd love to know why you've stopped singing the Guy Noir theme song.
And can we get an update on Bob, the young artist? I don't remember
hearing much about him since his play was accepted. I worry about
him. Is he eating right? Has he met a nice girl?
Florence Cook
Kansas City, MO
Florence, I quit singing the Guy Noir song because
it's too hard for me. Rich Dworsky wrote the music and he is, as
you know, a gifted composer, as well as a great pianist, and he
wrote some intervals into that melody that a person such as myself,
brought up on Ira Sankey hymns and "Go Tell Aunt Rhody," is simply
unable to leap with accuracy. As for Bob, I haven't heard any more
about him since Rainbow Motor Oil cancelled the series "Bob, The
Story of A Young Artist". I doubt that he's eating anything other
than snack food, and I doubt that a nice girl would want anything
to do with him.
Mr. Keillor:
Help! I've spilled rhubarb pie on a borrowed seersucker. I am beginning
to run out of excuses to give the person who loaned it to me, and would
appreciate any advice you might be able to give.
Thanks!
Steven Ross
Los Angeles, CA
Steven, Why would you borrow a seersucker suit?
What was the occasion? A reunion of old Princeton grads? A Ralph
Nader fundraiser? Thoreau said, "Beware of any enterprise that requires
new clothes." I say, Never go anywhere you wouldn't feel comfortable
in navy blue. That's the sort of suit I wear. I've spilled coffee
and wine and rhubarb pie and everything else on it and you'd never
know. It just adds to the lustre.
Sir:
In your book 'Wobegon Boy' Red Cliff, New York is a very, very thinly veiled
parody of Ithaca, New York and Cornell University. What did this centrally
isolated town do to deserve your satiric wit and wrath? I guess that you
did not have a good time when your show visited campus back in May of 1997.
Am I missing something? Sincerely,
Dave Long
Cornell MPA '95
Dave, There's no wrath directed
toward Red Cliff at all, and anyway, it's not Ithaca, it's Auburn,
which I liked very much, and so does John Tollefson, the hero of
the novel. That's why he moves there. The college, St. James, is
a little weak, but it offers him a job, and he's grateful for that.
And I had a terrific time at Cornell, doing the show. Loved it.
The whole thing. It's the alma mater of my hero, E.B. White, of
course, and it's also one of the most beautiful campuses anywhere.
And the Cornell men's glee club came on the show and sang, "High
above Cayuga's waters" which makes me want to be a student again.
Dear Garrison,
I notice that during the periods when the show is on a well-deserved vacation,
the rebroadcasts all seem to be from shows within the past two years...
Is there any reason we don't ever hear rebroadcasts of shows from 15 -20
years ago?
Mike Stier
Mike, Twenty years ago I was trying to figure
out how to tell a story. Fifteen years ago I still didn't have a
clear idea. We don't rebroadcast shows that would tend to show the
host in a poor light. I personally wish we wouldn't rebroadcast
anything. Radio is a medium of the moment. That's why we still do
the show live, even though common sense would dictate otherwise.
If I had a brain in my head, I'd of course do the thing in a studio,
edit it, overdub the audience response, and it'd be a huge success.
But we go on blundering along the same old path of live radio because
I'm from that era. And then we rebroadcast our mistakes. Is there
a reason for it? I don't know. I've given up trying to figure out
this business. I just go to work every day.
Dear Garrison,
What ever happened to Guy Noir's girlfriend "Sugar?" She hasn't been around
the Five Spot lately. Did she dump him? Did she move back east?
Just wondering,
Karl Bucher
Karl, Sugar was played by Sue Scott
and I love the character and intend to bring her back, though she
did disappear for awhile, probably because I wasn't sure how an
ex-girlfriend figured into the plot. Sugar did dump Guy, but it
was pretty amicable. She went to work for Jesse (The Body) Ventura
for awhile as a consultant on etiquette. She'll be back.
Hi guys,
I have one simple question: Will you ever again do a "annual Polka Show"
in some small town MN dance hall? It's really a true piece of MN Americana.
Steven
Minnesota
Steven, You're referring to the broadcast of several
years ago that we did from the ballroom in Gibbon, Minnesota, and
I'm glad you liked it. It was traumatic for me because the place
was so packed and we had all these seating snafus, mainly because
there's an inbred conflict when you try to do a concert and a dance
at the same time. One has people sitting in chairs and the other
has people whizzing around hopping up and down. It went okay until
it came time for the News from Lake Wobegon, and then what do you
do? People can't dance to it and you're standing there telling a
story about a small town to small town people who know better stories
than that, and the whole thing feels ridiculous. You can stand on
a stage in New York or Los Angeles or Chicago or London and talk
about Lake Wobegon and the audience is very reverent, but you do
it in Gibbon, Mn, and it feels silly. You know what I mean? I should
have left Minnesota years ago. If I'd been a better person, I would've,
but I'm not, and there you are.
Garrison,
I see Doonesbury is having fun with your old stomping grounds of Anoka via
the Duke 2000 campaign. Are most of the citizens registered to vote in Lake
Wobegon and are they a partisan bunch?
Also, you mentioned a mixed drink known as the Galesburg Gearbox in your
Radio Romance novel. I was wondering if that was something that originated
in the railroad yards here in Galesburg, Illinois.
Cordially yours,
Tom Engebretson
Galesburg, Illinois
Tom, Anoka is a hotbed of political
fever and it's mostly Democrats but with strong populist and libertarian
underpinnings. Sort of like our PHC truckdriver Russ Ringsak. He
despises Al Gore for his preachiness and is too proud to vote Republican
and a lot of Anokans would sympathize with that. (I, on the other
hand, am a yellow-dog Democrat from way back.) As for the drink,
yes, it originated in the railroad yards and I believe it involves
vodka and sloe gin and maybe some rum but I stayed away from that
drink and only know it from the powerful effect it had on people.
One of them and you got sort of dreamy, two and you became a humorist,
three and you had to be forcibly prevented from hopping a freight
for the coast. I hope you stay away from it, myself. I have.
Dear Garrison, It has been a long time since you have been in Vermont (that
I am aware of). When are you coming here again? What can we do to entice
you?
Barb
Barb, The last time I went to Vermont,
there was a big outcry in the papers on account of a rumor that
the show intended to move to Vermont. Vermonters were up in arms.
I remember a comment from a distinguished Vermont writer named Howard
Frank Mosher, who said, "This would be the last nail in the coffin
for Vermont." I thought to myself, if it troubles Howard Frank Mosher
so much to contemplate the possibility (non-existent) that I might
move to Vermont, then I don't need to visit Vermont again and cause
Howard Frank Mosher all this trouble. If Vermont is troubled by
outsiders, that's fine by me. I don't need to trouble anybody. In
Minnesota, Howard Frank Mosher would be heartily welcomed, even
if he wished to live here.
Dear Mr. Keillor,
Are there any Presbyterians in or around Lake Wobegon, or for that matter,
anywhere in Minnesota?
And, why are the Catholics in Lake Wobegon of German descent, and the Lutherans,
Norwegian?
Gael
Martinsville, Virginia
Gael, There is a host of Presbyterians
in Minnesota, but none that I know if in Lake Wobegon. The Catholics
are of German descent because that's where their ancestors came
from. Likewise, the Lutherans. It wasn't a matter of choice, believe
me.
Dear Mr. Keillor,
I am a transplanted Midwestern Catholic from Illinois who has been living
in KY the past nine years. I have finally gotten used to the southern culture,
but my employer wants me to accept a promotion in either MN or NJ. Since
you have lived in or near both places, I was wondering which you think might
be easier to adjust to for a single yr old male from the Midwest.
Signed
Undecided in KY
Undecided, If you didn't leap immediately
at the prospect of Minnesota, then I think you should go to New
Jersey and try to figure that out. There are lovely towns there,
graceful places, and you'd be an hour away from New York and be
able to enjoy the opera and theater and music and the high life
of Manhattan. Minnesota has its own gracefulness, of course, but
I'm not the one to try to sell anybody on it. My wife and I are
very happy living here in St. Paul. We also like New York a lot.
But life is what you make it. We made a decision to settle here
and we love each other and so---- when you're in love, you don't
yearn for something else. Ask your spouse where to go.
Hey Garrison
I hate to be the one to inject a morbid note into your mailbag, but I noticed
that I never hear about anyone in Lake Wobegon dying. At this juncture,
would it be indelicate of me to inquire about Senator K. Torvaldson's health?
Al Rossi
Spokane, WA
Al, I don't mind you inquiring at
all. Senator K. is still among the living. He's frail, his memory
is sketchy, he's hard to get in and out of cars, but he's still
moving and breathing and talking.
I think I have reported on funerals
in Lake Wobegon. Byron Tollefson, for one, and surely others. I
don't dwell on the subject because I am getting older myself and
don't like to be reminded. But every Memorial Day there is a big
service up in the cemetery, and I believe I always remember to mention
it. I hope I do. |
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