Patrick Wayne

Patrick, one deals with what one is presented, and I don’t mind the word “savvy,” though it can suggest cunning and other coyote sorts of skills. The parable of the unjust steward is worth looking up in regard to “savvy”. I’ve always assumed that it was satirical, that Jesus was trying to get a rise out of the Philistines. They were people who wore the garments of faith and whose hearts were dishonest, a covetous lot who pretended to be benevolent, which is shrewd behavior. You keep the best for yourself and give away just enough so the orphans will carry your name on plaques around their necks. The parable says, “The children of this world are wiser in their generation than the children of light.” Which I take to mean that being a child of light does not necessarily lead to common sense. But common sense is a necessity in this life: you have to get up and do what needs to be done. You ought to be at least half smart about the particulars of life. You should be meek and all, but you still want to be able to add.

Dear Mr. Keillor,
I am a 26-year-old who lives in his parents' basement and works part-time as a phone operator for a big catalog sales outfit, and hates his life. I was going to be a teacher, or a writer, or something interesting, and even went so far as to get a master's
degree in Education and a teaching job, but then I guess I fizzled out. I dearly enjoy your books and the show, and even your advice - which is usually pretty sound - to panhandlers like me, so I thought I'd write and ask if you had any tips for somebody
who'd like to get started living again, but feels stuck.

Donald in Virginia

Donald, you’re not a panhandler or a fizzler or ridiculous in any way. You’re very young and maybe things got away from you for awhile but there’s no harm done, except maybe to your self-confidence. I think that a 26-year-old guy should be working hard, or he should be having big adventures; so if you’re coasting, I recommend you get your butt in gear. Probably teaching isn’t your line of work, and maybe writing isn’t either, but there’s plenty of interesting things to do. Save all your money for a few months, every nickel, and then stake yourself to a few months of job search.

Dear Garrison,
I have been wondering what the difference is between unhappiness and depression and, for some reason, I thought you might be the best person to ask.

Best,
Pete

Dear Pete, Unhappiness is part of the human condition,
along with itchiness and the common cold. If you’re a living sensate being, you will experience gloominess and the vapors and the heebie-jeebies. It’s easily countered by going for a brisk walk or going to the opera and watching somebody get stabbed or having aerobic sex or listening to Louis Armstrong, but when the darkness gets a grip on you and you can’t shake it, then you need to think about depression. I had a dear friend who suffered from it and who was good at hiding it and in the midst of a sweet time in her life, she put rocks in her pockets and steered her canoe out to the middle of the lake and threw herself overboard. She hurt all of her friends so terribly that we will never fully recover. She needed help and none of us knew that.

Dear Mr. Keillor,
I know all about your affection for Twain and Fitzgerald and Perelman. But I am writing a paper about John Milton and how do you feel about him? And about Hemingway and Nabokov, Gertrude Stein and, oh, Dostoevsky? Which is to say, who else do you love besides Fitzgerald?

Yours very truly,
Mary Whittaker

Dear Mary, I toiled through Paradise Lost as an English major in college, and loved Hemingway and Nabokov, Dostoevsky too, and as for Gertrude, there is not much there, I’m afraid. Much less than meets the eye, anyway. What she lacked in talent, she made up for in opacity. Good luck on your paper. I got an A on my Milton paper, but that was many years ago and probably standards are higher now.

Dear Garrison,
Is The Sanctified Brethren a code word for Presbyterian?

Susan Wismer
Britton, SD

Susan, I grew up in the Plymouth Brethren, and if you thought that Sanctified Brethren was a code word for the Plymouths, I wouldn’t disagree with you. I know nothing about Presbyterians except that my nephew is a minister in hat system and I believe he went that way in order to escape from the Southern Baptists. Here in Minnesota, Presbyterianism is definitely a tennis & Scotch & white shoe division of the Christian faith. Maybe it’s different in Britton, S.D.

Dear Garrison:
I very much enjoy listening to the program each week, and I also catch the live Netcast on the Web site. Have you ever considered a televised special on PBS? I know you and the cast did one several years ago. Perhaps the folks at MPR, NPR, and PBS could get together and pool resources.

Matthew H. Constant

Matthew, I am happy doing what I’m doing and don’t see any reason to get so ambitious at this late date. Years ago I longed to be on television, but the fever has passed. Believe me, it has. I seem to be fairly competent at radio and probably should stick with that rather than fly to more ethereal realms where I’d only be a laughingstock.

Greetings:
Why did you say [on the March 23, 2002 show] that you do not believe the song “Big Old Goofy World”?

Loren Engrav
Seattle

Loren, the world in which we live is far from being a
big old goofy world. Big, yes. Goofy, no. Just an observation. But John Prine is a terrific songwriter and it’s a funny song.

Dr. Mr. Keillor,
I see on the Web site that you are of Scottish heritage and have some experience with "liturgical" churches, like the Lutherans and Episcopalians. As an Episcopalian with a strong Scottish heritage, I just have to ask: 1). Are there any Episcopalians in Lake Wobegon? 2). Are there any Scots, and do they have a Robert Burns Dinner, Saint Andrew's Day Service, Curling bonspiel, or any other event of a Scottish nature?

Regards,
Todd Wilkinson

Dear Todd,
1) Yes, but they attend the Lutheran church. We
have many Anglican Lutherans and we keep an eye on them. Ever so often you’d like to see signs of faith from these people.

2) There are Scots but only assimilated ones who married non-Scots and so they gave up their rights to the Burns dinner, the curling, the haggis, the bagpipes, the parsimony, the old grudges, and all the rest.

Dear Mr Keillor,
I am a big fan of yours, my family and I went to see "A Prairie Home Companion" when you came to Dublin, and we really enjoyed it. My favourite book to read is The Sandy Bottom Orchestra (I'm 16); if I have nothing else to read I just pick it up and start and I always enjoy it despite having read it at least fifteen times!

I was wondering if you plan to write another book for adolescents as my copy of The Sandy Bottom Orchestra is falling apart!

Thank you,
Katie Moore
Dublin, Ireland

Dear Katie, Glad you like that book. So do I. I tried to get my wife to write a sequel but she got distracted by producing our offspring and then raising a child and now our daughter is 4 and my wife seems to have lost interest in literary things. She is a violinist and violist and so it’s her life that the story of Rachel is based on, and she’s the one who supplies the expertise. I could no more write about a young violinist than I could teach algebra; it’s just that simple. But if I could write a sequel, I’d have Rachel travel to Dublin and play in an orchestra and meet someone named Katie Moore.