Bertha's Kitty Boutique
Saturday, May 11, 1996

GK:....brought to you by Bertha's Kitty Boutique. (MEOW) It's not easy being a cat and having to poop in a box (EMBARRASSED MEOW) and drink water out of a toilet (CAT NAUSEA) and eating tuna that you know is not fit for human consumption (RETCHING)----

GK: Think about it. Maybe you've been a little tough on Puff lately...and it is Mother's Day and when was the last time Puff saw its mother? (MEOW) Did you ever help Puff try to re-establish contact? (MEOW) No, you didn't. Why not? (MEOW) And the other little guys in Puff's litter ---- Snowball and Pookie and Chuckles and the Great Catsby ---- where are they today? (MEOW) Do they have kids? Are they neutered? Are they living on the street somewhere? (MEOW) Puff has a lot on his mind and maybe you've been emotionally distant when he needed your support ---- cats can sense that ---- (MEOW) and what better way to make up than with a jar of Alaskan King Salmon Caviar from Bertha's ---- (CAT INTEREST) a couple ounces of fresh pink salmon eggs--- twist off the cover and that catatonic cat will catwalk for joy (CAT SINGING) --- and now it's reduced in price, too. Isn't that right, Tim Russell---

TR: That's right. Alaskan King Salmon Caviar is now marked down from $121 per two ounce jar ---- to $114 ---- that's only fifty seven dollars per ounce.

GK: Hard to beat that price.

TR: That's right. Alaskan King Salmon Caviar is now marked down from $121 per two ounce jar ---- to $114 ---- that's only fifty seven dollars per ounce.

GK: And isn't your cat worth it? (MEOW) Of course he is.

CF: You're very important to me, Puff, and that's why we need to work out our hard feelings. (CAT PURR) You hungry? (CAT INTEREST) I've got a surprise for you in the cupboard....(CAT INTEREST)....

GK: Alaskan King Salmon Caviar from Bertha's Kitty Boutique......

TR: Now marked down to only fifty seven dollars per ounce.

GK: Remember, no man stands so tall as when he stoops to feed a cat. (MEOW)

© 1996 Garrison Keillor

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

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