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Mister Wine GK: And now a word from Mister Wine....(PIANO GLISS) CF: What are you doing, Bob? TR: I'm screwing this wineskin onto the water tap, Pat. (TWISTING) CF: Making water into wine?? But--- TR: There we go....now I just rev up the 75 horsepower gas generator...(ENGINE START) GK: GENERATOR NOT INCLUDED. TR: And I turn the ergonomic spigot knob to whichever variety I want... Burgundy, Chardonnay, Tawny Port, Gewurztraminer, Pinot Noir, or Rose....what do you say? CF: How about Pinot Noir---- TR: Push the On button... SFX: CLICK, WINE FLOWS TR: See, Pat? Gallon after gallon of wine that tastes as good as wine you'd spend two, three, even four and a half dollars for. GK: Yes, Mister Wine is the ONLY instant home wine-making device that makes this promise... TR: When used properly, will not damage plumbing. CF: Good Pinot Noir, Bob. And look....it doesn't stain the sink either. GK: Mister Wine....now you can have wine on your table any time you want. CF: Look! Unexpected guests pulling into the driveway? TR: No problem. I'll go hook up Mister Wine. GK: Not available in California. (MUSIC OUT) ©1996 by Garrison Keillor |
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Now Available:
A Christmas Blizzard
GK's New Holiday Story
A comic novella about a Hawaii-bound holiday traveler who ends up stranded in his North Dakota hometown.
Audio edition also available»
The Prairie Home cruise has become legendary on two of the Seven Seas and now is setting sail on a third, a weeklong spring break cruise of the western Caribbean along the Mexican coast, and it leaves March 14 from Tampa.
Stories of a Wobegon romance far from home, all delivered with Garrison Keillor's trademark humor.
Read the first chapter»Signed Copies Available»
The latest collection of Lake Wobegon short stories gathered from live broadcasts include Confirmation Sunday, the church directory photos, Pastor Ingqvist's leather bound sermons along with song lyrics and the "95 Theses," among others. Companion audio also available.
Order now!»