APHC: Saturday, April 19, 1997

Minnesota Floods
Saturday, April 19, 1997
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We're having floods in Minnesota.......

It's been especially rough in the Red River Valley, between Minnesota and North Dakota where the other day, a dike gave way in Fargo and another in Grand Forks and thousands of families were evacuated ... we're talking to Mrs. Deeanna Brower up near Grafton...

SS: Hello? Hello???

GK: Good to hear you again, Mrs. Brower.

SS: You'll have to speak up, the water is gurgling and it's pretty loud.

GK: I say it's good to hear you again, Mrs. Brower. How are you doing?

SS: I'm fine. I'm on the cellular phone. The phone lines are out. Can you hear me okay?

GK: I can hear you just fine, Mrs. Brower, how are you doing?

SS: We're fine. We're still upright anyway.

GK: That's good.

SS: We're moving but we're still upright.

GK: You're moving?

SS: That's why I'm on the cellular. We're not in Grafton anymore.

GK: I see. Where are you?

SS: I'm not sure. But it's not bad.

‘GK: I heard that a lot of people are without power. Are you without power?

SS: That's right. We're out in the middle of the river so there's no place we could hook up to power. But we don't need it. Nothing on television these days anyway.

GK: I see. So your sump pumps are they not working?

SS: No, we left them behind in the basement.

GK: I see. So you're floating, I take it

SS: Yes, we lifted right off the foundation. Water took us away, and we've gone about seventy miles.

GK: Where are you in the house, Mrs. Brower?

SS: I'm in the attic right now. Cleaning out things. You know. Trying to catch up.

GK: And the house is floating in the river.

SS: I've got all the cows in the upstairs bedrooms. Got em spread out so the house rides better in the water. Rugs are a mess but it can't be helped.

GK: How are you doing, Mrs. Brower? Isn't anyone coming to rescue you?

SS: No, no. We're fine. It's no problem. Long as it keeps floating, we're fine.

GK: Is your husband with you?

SS: No, Arlen's in the barn. It's about a quarter mile behind me.

GK: It's floating too.

SS: It would appear to be, yes.

GK: Can you see him from there, Mrs. Brower?

SS: He's up in the cupola. He has on a red plaid wool jacket and a seed corn cap. And he looks like he's not in that good a mood. Looks like he's fuming all right.

GK: Are you getting anything to eat?

SS: Oh yes, we've got plenty to eat. Been feeding the cattle macaroni and cheese. They like that pretty good. And fig newtons.

GK: How about yourself?

SS: Oh, I'm not that hungry, myself. Don't worry about me.

GK: How is your husband doing?

SS: Well, he's been without coffee for a whole week now.

GK: That could be dangerous. Is he Norwegian?

SS: Arlen? Yes, he is. Hundred percent.

GK: So maybe it's just as well he's not there in the house with you.

SS: I was thinking that myself.

GK: What is it like floating down the river, Mrs. Brower?

‘SS: Well, it's interesting. Lots to look at. I haven't been up this way for years. Kind of interesting.

GK: I imagine so. Have you thought about calling for help ... you could wave a sheet or something ... somebody'd come out and help you...

SS: Well, I haven't seen anybody I know well enough to ask them to do a favor like that, you know.

GK: I see.

SS: I could have asked one of my neighbors to do it, but we're a long ways from any of them.

GK: But isn't it rough on the river?

SS: No, we're doing fine. I've been on flights to California that were worse.

GK: Eventually, I suppose your house and barn will come aground somewhere, huh?

SS: I would think so, yes.

GK: You could wind up in Canada, I suppose.

SS: Well, I suppose we could.

GK: How would you feel about that?

SS: I just hope it's not too far north. I don't care for winters that much as it is.

GK: Okay, well, you take care, Mrs. Brower. If the National Guard comes to help, you let them, okay?

SS: Oh, we're just fine. House is tipping a little bit, but we're fine. No need for anyone to go to any trouble. And I'm getting a lot of cleaning done. So...

GK: Okay, but if you need help, you call, okay?

SS: Only thing that worries me is my passport. I can't find it anyplace.

GK: Where'd you leave it?

SS: Maybe it was in the dresser. We burned that a week ago for heat.

GK: I think the Canadian Mounties will accept a driver's license at the border.

SS: You think so?

GK: I think so.

SS: Well, then I got no problem at all.

GK: You take care, Mrs. Brower.

SS: Well, you too. How are you doing? You sound like you maybe got a little touch of a cold there.

GK: No, no, I'm fine.

SS: You know what you do for a cold? You eat pepper jelly. That's what I do. Hot pepper jelly. Whole lot of it. And you crush an aspirin in it. Never had a cold in my life.

GK: Thank you, DeeAnna Brower, from somewhere in the Red River Valley.

(c) 1997 by Garrison Keillor