|
Rent-A-Hun (DARK PRIMITIVE CHORDS, DRUMS) GK: When you think of Barbarians, you probably think of squat hairy men with jutting foreheads and savage eyes who came with their clubs and destroyed civilization. (TK & TR SAVAGERY, HARD BLOWS, BREAKAGE. SS: Oh no, no. Please. Don't. MORE SAVAGERY, MORE BREAKAGE) But the truth is that there was an awful lot of bad art in Rome. These were not all great originals that they destroyed. (SAVAGERY FADES AWAY) ---- And it's the same today. We live in a very different civilization, an information age, and people now don't make art, they hold meetings and discuss the (FADING IN OF TR DRONING MEETING.....) decision-making process and --- TR: Cross-functional teams is the No. 1 action step in the strategic planning sequence and that means modular leadership. GK: There comes a point in most meetings when you really could use a barbarian to break down that door (TK SAVAGERY, MUFFLED, THEN HACKING DOOR WITH AXE, AND ENTERING, SLOBBERING AND GRUNTING) --- SS: This is Attila, our new planning director. GK: And he goes to work (SAVAGERY, BREAKAGE, GLASS BREAKAGE, CRUNCHING) and he destroys the hard drives that all of this jargon is stored on, and he rips up the organizational manuals, and when he's done, there's not much left. (TK STALKS AWAY, GRUNTING) SS: So---- I guess we'll just have to start over. GK: Starting Over --- it's what barbarians give us the chance to do. SS: Let's start by firing you, Jeff, and replacing you with me --- what do you say? TR: What??? How can you say that? That's not the way we--- SS: That's how Attila wants it. (TK GRUNTING APPROACHES) TR: Okay. Fine. (TK GRUNT & CRUNCH) SS: And we'll bag these b.s. sessions and quit talking this corporate monkey talk and just start doing our jobs. GK: For your next corporate meeting, maybe it's time you call Rent A Hun (TK HUN)....or take your choice of other barbarians including Visigoth (TR BARBARIAN), Vandal (TK BARBARIAN), Mongol Horde (TR ASIAN VANDAL), Tartars (TK BARBARIAN), and Viking (TR). A service of BFI (GONG)----Brute Force & Ignorance. (TR BELCH) (c) 1997 by Garrison Keillor |
|
|
|
|
Now Available:
A Christmas Blizzard
GK's New Holiday Story
A comic novella about a Hawaii-bound holiday traveler who ends up stranded in his North Dakota hometown.
Audio edition also available»
The Prairie Home cruise has become legendary on two of the Seven Seas and now is setting sail on a third, a weeklong spring break cruise of the western Caribbean along the Mexican coast, and it leaves March 14 from Tampa.
Stories of a Wobegon romance far from home, all delivered with Garrison Keillor's trademark humor.
Read the first chapter»Signed Copies Available»
The latest collection of Lake Wobegon short stories gathered from live broadcasts include Confirmation Sunday, the church directory photos, Pastor Ingqvist's leather bound sermons along with song lyrics and the "95 Theses," among others. Companion audio also available.
Order now!»