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Cafe Titanic ....right after this message from Rest-0-Tainment Corporation. (MUSIC) TR: If you're the parent of a teenage child, perhaps you've been through this scene yourself once or twice.... GK (OLD LADY): O it's spring once again, and once again the earth burgeons with new life. SS (TEEN): Oh boy. GK (OLD LADY): Which reminds me that Sunday is Mother's Day, honey. SS (TEEN): So what???? GK (OLD LADY): I bought you a present to give me, Snuggums. Look. It's a set of Tupperware dishes to keep our leftovers nice and crispy. Shall I wrap them for you? SS (TEEN): You are so, like, incredibly pitiful, Ma, I wish you would just shut up. Okay? I am trying to watch this show. GK (OLD LADY): Every Mother's Day brings back such warm memories for me. How lucky I was. Even though you loathe the sight of me, still I count myself fortunate. What do you say we go out for dinner together? SS (TEEN): Have dinner with you? I'd rather have hot needles thrust under my fingernails. What do you say you, like, take a walk and don't come back? Huh? GK (OLD LADY): We could go to a nice place and just for two hours, we could be nice to each other and celebrate --- what do you say, honey? SS (TEEN): Celebrate what? I didn't ask to be born! GK (OLD LADY): Oh dear. What is one to do? (MUSICAL GLISS) TR: What to do? Here's an idea! Instead of dragging your teen to a formal restaurant where she'll only feel out of place, why not take her to one of our Rest-O-Tainment theme restaurants --- such as the Cafe Titanic--- (SHIP'S HORN) top-notch food....plus, it sinks every ninety minutes, which gives a sense of shape to your evening..... ---- the next day....(TIME MODULATION) GK (OLD LADY): So --- did you enjoy your hamburger, honey? SS (TEEN): It was okay. GK (OLD LADY: And would you like another Coke? SS (TEEN): Okay. GK (OLD LADY): How about a hot fudge sundae for dessert? Let's splurge, what do you say? SS (TEEN): Oh. All right. GK (OLD LADY): This is the most positive and cheerful I've seen you in the past eighteen months, honey. It brings tears to my eyes. SS (TEEN): Listen--- you start blubbering and I'm history, okay? I'm outta here. Blow your nose. (HONK) That's better. Here. Happy Mother's Day. GK (OLD LADY): Oh goodness, me. (FLURRY OF WRAPPING PAPER) Tupperware dishes. Land sakes. You are so thoughtful. SS (TEEN): What time does it sink? GK (OLD LADY): Any moment now. (BAND PLAYS "NEARER MY GOD TO THEE") Sounds like it's going down now. (DISTANT SHOUTS. CRASHES) Well, it's been wonderful, honey. TK (BULLHORN): Man the lifeboats! Every man to his station! Passengers to the main deck.... GK (OLD LADY): You go ahead, dear. SS (TEEN): What are you going to do? GK (OLD LADY): You take my life preserver, dear. TK (BULLHORN): Women and children to the boats---- SS (TEEN): What are you going to do? GK (OLD LADY): You go ahead, dear. I'll be fine. I'm happy. SS (TEEN): But what are you--- GK (OLD LADY): Here. Take my coat so you don't get cold. SS (TEEN): Mom? GK (OLD LADY): You go, I'll be fine. Bless you. SS (TEEN): Mom---- GK (OLD LADY): It's a far far better thing I do than I have ever done. It's a far better place I go to than I have ever seen. (CRIES. CRASHING. DISTANT CRUNCHING. BAND PLAYS UP. WATER FLOWS IN.) TR: The Cafe Titanic, what could be more appropriate for Mother's Day.....(MUSIC OUT) ©1997 by Garrison Keillor |
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Singer and songwriter Andra Suchy talks about singing duets with Garrison, and her latest album, Little Heart.
Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976
Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).
