A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

Cafe Boeuf
Saturday, June 21, 1997
Listen

...Brought to you by the Cafe Boeuf----

TK (ON PHONE): Bon soir, Cafe Boeuf Cite de la Oklahoma --- This is Maurice speaking. (LITTLE GIBBERISH) How may I help you?

GK: Maurice, it's Carson Wyler, I need to make a reservation for two for dinner tonight at seven. It's very important. I'm taking the geneal manager of KCSC out for dinner ---

TK (ON PHONE): Wyler --- yes, I remember you --- the red socks and the aromatic hair.

GK: My hair?

TK (ON PHONE): Yes. Quite a smell. They commented on it in the kitchen.

GK: That was me.

TK (ON PHONE): Some kind of antiseptic. Smelled like you bought it at a pet store.

GK: No, no, no.

TK (ON PHONE): You're not under treatment for (FRENCH) ---

GK: For what?

TK (ON PHONE): Leece.

GK: Leece!

TK (ON PHONE): Lice.

GK: Lice! No.

TK (ON PHONE): It was a very strong smell. Even the dishwasher noticed.

GK: It's just my conditioner, I guess.

TK (ON PHONE): I recommend you find a new one. Anyway, we have no room ---

GK: None?

TK (ON PHONE): Nothing, monsieur.

GK: But this is important. This is our station in Edmund and Oklahoma City. Seven-thirty.

TK (ON PHONE): Sorry. No.

GK: Eight.

TK (ON PHONE): Sorry.

GK: Please. This is very important.

TK (ON PHONE): How important is it, sir?

GK: What do you mean?

TK (ON PHONE): How much?

GK: You're talking about --- money?

TK (ON PHONE): You seem surprised.

GK: A bribe?

TK (ON PHONE): A tip. Whatever.

GK: You come right out and ask for money?

TK (ON PHONE): You don't do that in public radio?

GK: Well, I'm just surprised ---

TK (ON PHONE): Would you like time to think about it? I'll put you on hold.

GK: No, not on hold. Please.

TK (ON PHONE): How about Tuesday night? About five o'clock? Next to the kitchen ---

GK: Please tonight. Ten dollars.

TK (ON PHONE): Let me check my book. ---- No, sorry. Nothing there.

GK: Fifteen.

TK (ON PHONE): No, nothing at seven.

GK: Twenty dollars.

TK (ON PHONE): Ah. Something is starting to open up.

GK: Twenty-five.

TK (ON PHONE): Aha! How silly of me --- yes, of course we have a table.

GK: I can't believe this. Bribery.

TK (ON PHONE): Ah --- don't call it bribery, monsieur --- think of it as a membership.

GK: Oh well. That's for tonight.

TK (ON PHONE): Yes, and your hair conditioner, monsieur --- fabulous.

GK: You like it?

TK (ON PHONE): (FRENCH GIBBERISH)

© 1997 by Garrison Keillor