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Personal Injury Lawyer GK:.....right after this message. TR: I'm Todd Burnham, attorney at law, specializing in personal injury cases, and if you should slip on the ice on your neighbor's sidewalk (TK CRY OF ALARM) or if you should give your neighbor's car a push (TIRES SPINNING) and strain your back (TK CRY OF PAIN), or if ice should fall off your neighbor's house and (KONK) hit you on the head, or if a pair of jumper cables that the manufacturer neglected to include clear instructions with should (SHORTING) cause a battery to explode (DULL EXPLOSION), or if defective gloves or socks should cause you to suffer frostbite (TK MOANING), or if the hood of your parka obscures your vision and you walk into a fire hydrant (TK CRY OF PAIN), or if snowplows leave a ridge of snow across your driveway and shovelling it causes you to perspire and so you have to take another shower and in your hurry you slip on the floor (TK CRY OF ALARM), or if your employer provides coffee with insufficient caffeine content and you experience a loss of attention and you fall face-first onto your computer (GLASS BREAKAGE), or if a lack of sunlight in the workplace causes you to be depressed and you leave during lunch hour and get on a plane to Tahiti and there, due to jet lag, you cross the street against a red light and are struck by a bus (HORN, KONK) --- if any of these should happen to you, give me a call. Last year, 76 percent of my injury suits were settled out of court. Maybe I can help you. (HE CHUCKLES) © 1997 Garrison Keillor |
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Now Available:
A Christmas Blizzard
GK's New Holiday Story
A comic novella about a Hawaii-bound holiday traveler who ends up stranded in his North Dakota hometown.
Audio edition also available»
The Prairie Home cruise has become legendary on two of the Seven Seas and now is setting sail on a third, a weeklong spring break cruise of the western Caribbean along the Mexican coast, and it leaves March 14 from Tampa.
Stories of a Wobegon romance far from home, all delivered with Garrison Keillor's trademark humor.
Read the first chapter»Signed Copies Available»
The latest collection of Lake Wobegon short stories gathered from live broadcasts include Confirmation Sunday, the church directory photos, Pastor Ingqvist's leather bound sermons along with song lyrics and the "95 Theses," among others. Companion audio also available.
Order now!»