A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

Catchup
Saturday, June 6, 1998
Listen

(MUSIC)

TR (ANNC): Barb and I know that wealth is not measured in monetary terms, but in friendships. So last week, when we threw a big party, I felt like the richest man alive. Until everybody started leaving at nine o'clock. And we were left alone, with about $ 600 worth of party snacks.

(NIGHT AMBIENCE, CRICKETS)

SS: What's wrong, Jim? It's midnight and you're sitting buck-naked in the middle of the backyard surrounded by loaded weapons?

TR: I'm deeply depressed, Barb.

SS: It's the party, isn't it----

TR: I don't think our friends really like us, Barb. How could they not realize the trouble we went to----? The hand-rolled enchiladas....the gourmet organic blue corn chips, the seven kinds of salsa including poblano pepper and smoked chipotle and cilantro-onion-muskmelon and cactus jelly flambee'.

SS: Maybe we were trying too hard to impress everyone.

TR: You think so?

SS: Maybe we forgot about the basics, Jim.

TR: You mean-----?

SS: We forgot the ketchup, Jim

TR: You're right.

SS: And many studies show that ketchup contains natural relaxing agents that promote friendship.

TR: Maybe we should give another party next weekend.

SS: Okay.

TR: And this time we'll include ketchup.

SS: I brought you some, Jim.

TR: Ketchup on a piece of white bread. My favorite.

SS: I love you, Jim.

TR: So do I, Barb.

RD (SINGS):

These are the good years, in the golden sun,
A new day is dawning, a new life has begun,
The river flowing like ketchup on a bun.

GK: Ketchup....for the good times.

RD (SINGS): Ketchup.........

(c) 1998 by Garrison Keillor