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Duct Tape We'll continue with tonight's show after a word from the American Duct Tape Council. (DUCKS) SS: Hi. Supermodel and fashion celebrity Cynthia Maxwell here, with a tip for women like me who must be devastatingly beautiful at all times or else perish of embarrassment. That pale fragile angular look that was so In about four days ago - that is, like, totally over now - it's gone - you see people on the street still doing that angular thing and you're, like, really embarrassed for them - you just want to go up to them and like slap their face or something - I mean, hello? like, it's Saturday? Okay? Like, that was Monday? Today's look is dark and muscular and full - but part of that look is to be like really slim in the waist? and that's where you need duct tape - (PULL OFF STRIP) to really get cinched up (PULL STRIP TIGHT, SS INTAKE OF BREATH, THEN SPEAKS WITH STRAIN) - there - like, fantastic. Thanks, duct tape. GK: Thank you, Cynthia Maxwell. Duct tape ... it's almost just about the only thing you need sometimes, duct tape. (DUCKS) A message from the American Duct Tape Council. (c) 1999 by Garrison Keillor |
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Now Available:
A Christmas Blizzard
GK's New Holiday Story
A comic novella about a Hawaii-bound holiday traveler who ends up stranded in his North Dakota hometown.
Audio edition also available»
The Prairie Home cruise has become legendary on two of the Seven Seas and now is setting sail on a third, a weeklong spring break cruise of the western Caribbean along the Mexican coast, and it leaves March 14 from Tampa.
Stories of a Wobegon romance far from home, all delivered with Garrison Keillor's trademark humor.
Read the first chapter»Signed Copies Available»
The latest collection of Lake Wobegon short stories gathered from live broadcasts include Confirmation Sunday, the church directory photos, Pastor Ingqvist's leather bound sermons along with song lyrics and the "95 Theses," among others. Companion audio also available.
Order now!»