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Ketchup Advisory Board Tonight's show is brought to you by the Ketchup Advisory Board. TR: These are the good years for me and Barb. I found a really good breath spray that seems to have cleared up the problem and now I'm getting invited to meetings again. The tax refund came and we used it to de-worm the dog and as a result he passed Barb's wedding ring that he swallowed a couple weeks ago. And Barb's brother phoned and said they're not visiting this summer after all. So it looked like things were starting to look up for us, and then I come home from work to find Barb with her head in the freezer eating rocky road ice cream right out of the carton. With a serving spoon. - Barb, what's wrong? SS: I was just looking at pictures from our romantic weekend getaway in Cannon Falls, Jim. TR: What about it? SS: I can't believe that's me - TR: What's wrong? SS: I look so old, so fat - so blank - TR: Now that you mention it - there is a kind of vacancy about you - SS: I need to lose weight, and do something about my hair. And then I need to take some courses at the University of Minnesota. TR: Sounds like a plan. SS: There's so much I need to know, Jim. About critical methodology and cultural pluralism and the Ming dynasty and the work of regulatory agencies and macroeconomics. I've never studied macroeconomics, Jim. I'm forty-eight years old and I don't understand macroeconomics. TR: So many people go through life and never realize they don't understand macroeconomics, Barb. You're one of the lucky ones. SS: It's spring, Jim. I'm going to go back to the U and make up all of those incompletes from my junior year and graduate at last. TR: That's good. SS: From now on, I'm going to let the housekeeping go and just live life to the fullest. TR: And don't forget about the ketchup. SS: That's the secret of the good life, isn't it - getting enough ketchup. TR: Because ketchup has natural mellowing agents that help take the sting out of life's disappointments. SS: Don't you think some ketchup would taste awfully good right now? I do. (KETCHUP SONG) RD: Ballet and painting and the operas of Rossini GK: Ketchup. For the good times. RD: Ketchup....ketchup..... (c) 1999 by Garrison Keillor |
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Now Available:
A Christmas Blizzard
GK's New Holiday Story
A comic novella about a Hawaii-bound holiday traveler who ends up stranded in his North Dakota hometown.
Audio edition also available»
The Prairie Home cruise has become legendary on two of the Seven Seas and now is setting sail on a third, a weeklong spring break cruise of the western Caribbean along the Mexican coast, and it leaves March 14 from Tampa.
Stories of a Wobegon romance far from home, all delivered with Garrison Keillor's trademark humor.
Read the first chapter»Signed Copies Available»
The latest collection of Lake Wobegon short stories gathered from live broadcasts include Confirmation Sunday, the church directory photos, Pastor Ingqvist's leather bound sermons along with song lyrics and the "95 Theses," among others. Companion audio also available.
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