A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

Psychic Pizza
Saturday, May 1, 1999
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(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell)

Tonight's show is brought to you by Psychic Pizza.

(PHONE RING, PICK UP)

SS: Psychic Pizza.

TR: Yes, I'd like to order a pizza...

SS: ...a 32-inch combo, extra cheese, no olives. A six pack of cola. 3414 Skinner Parkway. Apartment 4B.

TR: Uh, yeah! Right. How long will that take?

SS: Exactly twenty-two minutes and fourteen seconds, starting....NOW.

TR: Great. Would you happen to.....

SS: Know where your wallet is? Yes. Look in the tan pants in the laundry basket. And you've got some money in the pocket of your leather jacket, too.

TR: Great!

SS: And save a piece for your friend David.

TR: But he's not here ... he's out on a date with ...

SS: ...Rachel. Right. But she's going to dump him and he'll be there in about an hour, pretty heartbroken over it.

TR: Uh ... okay ... but I thought they were.....

SS: ....Huh-uh. No way. It was all his imagination.

TR: But Rachel always seemed so ...

SS: ....Not for him, she wasn't.

TR: She wasn't? You mean?

SS: Exactly.

TR: But he told me that ...

SS: Guys always say that.

TR: So do you think she's ...

SS: Interested in you? Yes. Give it two weeks and ask her out. He'll forgive you.

TR: Are you sure?

SS: Trust me.

TR: Do you think we're going to ...

SS: You and Rachel?

TR: Yeah. I mean ... if I were to....

SS: I wouldn't do that.

TR: No? You think I should ...

SS: I think so.

TR: You sure?

SS: Absolutely. This is Psychic Pizza Delivery. We know pizza ... and a little bit more.

(MUSIC BUTTON)

(c) 1999 by Garrison Keillor