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Ketchup Advisory Board Tonight's show is also brought to you by the Ketchup Advisory Board. TR: These are the good years for me and Barb. We sent money to our public radio station and they sent us a coffee cup and tote bag and we gave them to Barb's brother for his birthday, who seemed genuinely touched. Our governor Jesse Ventura has been in office for almost six months and he hasn't hit anybody over the head with a folding chair. And I found a bargain fare to Butte - $89 round-trip - with a carrier called Casino Airlines. I came upstairs to tell Barb the good news, only to find her in the kitchen, weeping, trying to stuff a copy of Vogue down the garbage disposal. Barb, honey. What's wrong? SS: Oh, Jim. I just had the most humiliating experience a woman can have. TR: Lunch with your mother? SS: No. I went shopping for a bathing suit. TR: What's so bad about that? SS: "What's so bad about that?" Easy for you to say. You've never had to squeeze yourself into a ladies bathing suit three sizes too small for you. TR: Actually, I have. Once. At Howard's bachelor party. SS: There I was standing under a harsh florescent light, looking at my cellulite in a three way mirror? It was horrible. TR: So you've got a few little lumps and bumps. A burst vein or two. Psoriasis. SS: Please. Stop. What happened to me, Jim? I used to have a waif-like fragility about me. And then I had three kids and now I look like a dockworker. TR: Ohhhh. You're still beautiful. You've got beautiful eyes. Nice hair. You have skin. And you have a 36-24-36 figure. Just not in that order. SS: I'm going to join a gym. I'm going to work myself back to the woman I used to be. TR: You know what you need, Barb? SS: Emergency Liposuction. TR: No. Ketchup. SS: Ketchup? TR: Yes. Everyone knows ketchup has natural mellowing agents that help a person face disappointment and heartbreak. And it has zero grams of fat, so it won't make a chubster get even flabbier. SS: Oh, Jim. Why didn't I think of ketchup? TR: Let me rustle you up some ketchup 'n cottage cheese. SS: I feel lovelier already. GK: Ketchup. For the good times. RD: Ketchup, ketchup ... (c) 1999 by Garrison Keillor |
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An Interview with Heather Masse
In a 2009 interview, Heather Masse tells us about her earliest influences, auditioning in a women's bathroom, and a few memorable moments from A Prairie Home Companion.
Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976
Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).
