Limericks
Saturday, June 26, 1999
Listen

(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell)

Said a resolute man of Knoxville:
"I can and I must and I will.
I've forgotten just what
I can and must, but
It remains a goal of mine still."

Said a lady of east Tennessee:
"The Republican Party's for me.
A party of principle,
Pure and invincible,
And at meetings the cocktails are free."

There is an old man of St. Paul
Put his desk in a toilet stall.
It was quiet, conducive,
And one had the use of
The plumbing with no wait at all.

There was an old fellow named Hennesy
Who mispronounced penis penus. He
Had had the goldurnest
Time with internists,
Not to mention the women of Tennessee.

There was an old man of Knoxville
Who said, "Youth's like a marvellous pill.
Makes you lively and free,
But unfortunately
A prescription one cannot refill."

There was an old lady of Knoxville
Who bought her brassieres by the boxful,
Which she stuffed with corn kernels
And old Wall Street Journals
And thus kept the front of her frocks full.

There was an old man of St. Paul
Built a laptop that won't run at all.
Expensive, not pretty, it's
Strictly for idiots.
If you'd like one, give him a call.

(c) 1999 by Garrison Keillor

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

Available now»

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