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American Duct Tape Council
Saturday, October 2, 1999
Listen
(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell, RD: Rich Dworsky)
We'll return to tonight's show after a word from the American Duct Tape Council. (DUCKS) Duct tape. It's one thing that really works.
TR: I been goin out huntin' deer since I was a kid, got my first buck when I was 14, always remember that, and after ten, fifteen years, I donno, the rifle it seemed too easy in a way so I switched to huntin with a bow and arrow, cause it was more of a challenge. Then, about ten years ago, I switched to huntin with just a strip of duct tape and goin hand to hoof, y'might say. The duct tape deer hunting season starts around Labor Day. I pack my huntin' clothes in a plastic bag full of pine boughs for a few weeks and I soak my socks in fox urine, and I paint my face black and brown and I use a mouthwash that makes my breath smell like rotting bark and I hang oak branches on me and cover my shoes with moss and stand there and wait for a buck and when one comes I give a little grunt, kind of a romantic female grunt, and lure him up real close until he's gets eyeball to eyeball and then I jump him and tie him up with duct tape and take a picture of him and let him go. It's catch-and-release hunting. I'm vegetarian. Anyway, last year I was standing there stock still with oak branches hanging on me and moss on my shoes and a game warden walks right up to me and starts to take a leak and I had to yell at him - I yelled HEY! and he fell over and he broke his leg and I had to haul him over my shoulders. Had to carry him two miles to the nearest road. And then I had to get him to the hospital. Problem was, he was a big guy and he couldn't bend his leg and my backseat was full of camping gear, so I had to tie the warden across the hood. Used duct tape. And do you know - fifteen miles we drove on some pretty rough roads and not one strip of duct tape came loose the whole time.
GK: Duct tape ... it's one thing that really works. (DUCKS) A message from the American Duct Tape Council.
(c) 1999 by Garrison Keillor
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On July 4th, help us celebrate the 35th Anniversary of A Prairie Home Companion and the Fourth of July with a free live nationally broadcast show from Avon, MN.
From Garrison Keillor:
“When I was 16, Helen Fleischman assigned me to memorize Shakespeare’s Sonnet No. 29, ‘When in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes, I all alone beweep my outcast state’ for English class, and fifty years later, that poem is still in my head. Algebra got washed away, and geometry and most of biology, but those lines about the redemptive power of love in the face of shame are still here behind my eyeballs, more permanent than my own teeth. The sonnet is a durable good. These 77 of mine include sonnets of praise, some erotic, some lamentations, some street sonnets and a 12-sonnet cycle of months. If anything here offends, I beg your pardon, I come in peace, I depart in gratitude.”
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Robin & Linda Williams are among the most popular guest performers of A Prairie Home Companion (they also appeared in the movie, have performed as part of the The Hopeful Gospel Quartet, and made appearances as Marvin & Mavis Smiley). This CD features some of the duo's best harmonies from the show. Among the 12 tracks are familiar fan favorites, including "For Better or Worse", "Visions of Mother and Dad", "Tied Down, Home Free" and the title track. A collection that is muy bueno!
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