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Jesse Ventura (GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell, RD: Rich Dworsky) TR (JESSE): Hey, hoooyah! GK: Hey, Jesse. Jesse (The Body) Ventura. TR: Nice to see ya. GK: Good to see you, Governor? TR: Who you talking to? Governor? Oh! you mean me!! GK: Right. That's you. TR: Right. I keep forgetting. GK: Wish we could. What are you doing in Rapid City, Governor? TR: Well, the weather's been nice, I got out my Harley and rode out to Sturgis and hung out in the bars for awhile and then I drove over to Mount Rushmore so they could measure my head. GK: Your head? TR: Right. A lotta people have told me that those four guys look like they need a fifth. GK: Need a fifth - they're stoned already. That's a joke, Governor. TR: Good -Yeah, everywhere I go, people tell me, they say, "Jesse, how come your head isn't there next to Teddy Kennedy's on Mount Rushmore." GK: Teddy Roosevelt. TR: Whatever. One of those guys. So some people are starting a nationwide campaign, "Jesse On The Rocks". GK: So does this mean that you've decided to run for the White House? TR: Well, as I've said over and over, time and time again, I will not run for president until I see the American people rise up as one in a grass-roots movement and demand that I not deny them their constitutional right to be able to vote for me. GK: And do you see this grass-roots movement? TR: Well, let me tell you. Everywhere I went in Sturgis, no matter which bar I was in, people were telling me, "Jesse, go for it." So, I donno. GK: And you want your face carved on Mount Rushmore before or after you're in the White House? TR: I look on it as a sort of a beautification project. You know? I mean, look at these guys. George Jefferson? Give me a break. GK: Thomas Jefferson. TR: Whatever. Nobody knows these guys anymore. Their time is past. Jesse (The Body)'s time is now, baby. You put me up there, rest assured: You'll see people visiting Mount Rushmore who never would've visited there before. GK: That's what concerns us. TR: They'll double the number of sweatshirts they sell. GK: I'm sure. TR: Here. I want to present you with this complimentary "Jesse On The Rocks" t-shirt. GK: Thank you. TR: That'll be twenty bucks. GK: You said it's complimentary. TR: Well, you know what they say about steroids and short term memory loss. Okay, split the difference: make it thirty bucks. GK: Right here, Governor. TR: Write your senator, and your congressman, and tell them you want Jesse On The Rocks. That's J-E-S-E- GK: Two S's in Jesse. TR: Whatever. GK: Governor Jesse Ventura, thanks for joining us today. (BAND PLAYOFF) (c) 1999 by Garrison Keillor |
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An Interview with Heather Masse
In a 2009 interview, Heather Masse tells us about her earliest influences, auditioning in a women's bathroom, and a few memorable moments from A Prairie Home Companion.
Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976
Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).
