A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

The Twelve Days of Christmas
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 18, 1999
Listen

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
FIVE ONION RINGS
Four calling cards
Three french fries
Two dirty gloves
And the Partridge family CD.

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Six geezers playing
FIVE ONION RINGS
Four calling cards
Three french fries
Two dirty gloves
And the Partridge family CD.

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Seven Swanson dinners
Six geezers playing
FIVE ONION RINGS
Four calling cards
Three french fries
Two dirty gloves
And the Partridge family CD.

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Eight maids a'baking
Seven Swanson dinners
Six geezers playing
FIVE ONION RINGS
Four calling cards
Three french fries
Two dirty gloves
And the Partridge family CD.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
A twelve-minute drum break (DRUMS)
Eleven plumbers piping (SFX CLANKING)
Ten boring people (SFX MONOTONE)
Nine ladies yawning (SFX)
Eight maids a'baking (FEMALE VOICES)
Seven Swanson dinners (BELCH)
Six geezers playing (SFX)
FIVE ONION RINGS (FIVE DINGS)
Four calling cards (PHONE BEEPS)
Three french fries (SQUISH)
Two dirty gloves (DISGUST)
And the Partridge family CD.

(c) 1999 by Dan Fiorella