|
Bob's Bank Tonight's show is brought to you by Bob's Bank, home of the Smart Card. When you make a purchase with your Smart Card from Bob's Bank, we don't just check the balance in the account, we take a look at the purchase itself. That's why they call it a Smart Card. SS: Lookit that, Roy's finally got around to doing his Christmas shopping. $8.95 for a bottle of perfume?? Eight ninety-five!! What a cheapskate. (BUZZER) Alan at the liquor store. Bottle of wine, 18 bucks, boy that seems steep to me. Better nip that in the bud - (BUZZER). What we got here? Edna at the auto body shop? $345.79. Boy, I didn't hear about that one. Musta been a doozy. (DING) Okay, here we got Sam over at the drug store. $2.95 for shampoo, $3.19 for hair pomade, $3.69 for razor blades, and - what? $7.95 for the Playboy Lingerie Pop-Up picture book?! No way, mister. No way. (THREE BUZZERS) And lookit there - Benny - video games - must be for his grandkids - (DING) Stevie Jo is buying what? Take-out what? I can't even pronounce it. Sashimi? What in the world - 28.95? That gal's been living a little high off the hog if you ask me. Oh well. (DING) And Jeff - Okay. What we got here? Gas and oil filter and two quarts of 10W 30. Okay. (BELL DING) About time he changed that oil. - And Scott - what's going on here? a cellphone - hey, just a cotton pickin minute - he bought one of those a month ago. (BUZZER) Can't slip one over on Eunice, no sir. Who's this? Russ ... hmmmmm. Woman's necklace, 99 bucks. Boy, I donno. (DING) I'm gonna look and see if Denise is wearing that next Sunday or not. - What? He's buying more? A tie clasp? A golf ball tie clasp? Oh for dumb. (BUZZER) You wait and see - he'll thank me for that someday. GK: That's the Smart Card from Bob's Bank. When we say full service, we mean it. (DING) (c) 1999 by Garrison Keillor |
|
|
|
|
Now Available:
A Christmas Blizzard
GK's New Holiday Story
A comic novella about a Hawaii-bound holiday traveler who ends up stranded in his North Dakota hometown.
Audio edition also available»
The Prairie Home cruise has become legendary on two of the Seven Seas and now is setting sail on a third, a weeklong spring break cruise of the western Caribbean along the Mexican coast, and it leaves March 14 from Tampa.
Stories of a Wobegon romance far from home, all delivered with Garrison Keillor's trademark humor.
Read the first chapter»Signed Copies Available»
The latest collection of Lake Wobegon short stories gathered from live broadcasts include Confirmation Sunday, the church directory photos, Pastor Ingqvist's leather bound sermons along with song lyrics and the "95 Theses," among others. Companion audio also available.
Order now!»