APHC: Saturday, January 22, 2000

Rhubarb Pie
Saturday, January 22, 2000
Listen

(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell, RD: Rich Dworsky)

Rhubarb is, as we know, a key ingredient of the good life, the most powerful natural aphrodisiac known to man. An aphrodisiac for you younger people is something that makes your hair grow straight out. Rudy and Barb Halvorson, the discoverers of rhubarb, noticed that right away.(SS: Yeah, no need for the beauty parlor since I been eating rhubarb every morning.) It's also a powerful preventative, guarding against rheumatism (TR GEEZER: I can bend over and touch my toes! Watch! FART) --- rhubarb helps prevent rudeness (TK: Outta my way!), financial ruin (TR: It fell to what???? Today????), demented rural people (TK DEMENTED FARMHAND: What's the matter? you never saw a pitchfork before?), Rupert Murdoch (TR AUST: Hey mate, you want to see some pictures?), all these and it gives you big hair and makes you as happy as an idiot. Rhubarb was described on Viking runestones (TR SWEDISH) ---- a rough translation: Bjorni and 14 others, having explored that which is here, now depart by the grace of God for Vineland, carrying a shipload of the reddish stalks that make our hair nice....no more rheumatism, rudeness, financial ruin, demented rural people, or Rupert Murdoch. And you'll have great hair. (THEME) Where's my baby, where'd she go I asked her friends but they don't know So I got me a piece of rhubarb pie And here comes my baby strollin by I know my baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie I see that rhubarb look in her eye Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.