APHC: Saturday, January 29, 2000

American Duct Tape Council
Saturday, January 29, 2000
Listen

(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell, RD: Rich Dworsky)

.....after a word from the American Duct Tape Council. (DUCKS)

SS: Hi. Supermodel Emily Maxwell here, with a tip for women like me who must be devastatingly beautiful or else die of shame. Like, really. Fashion is change, you know? like sometimes four or five times in one night ----- so--- you work on your look, a totally new look, a Renaissance geisha look, and you go to the party and you suddenly realize: this is, like, OVER --- like, nobody is doing this anymore, everybody else is either doing the hiphop shepherdess look, or the bohemian Lolita look, so you go, like, whoa, and you dash to the ladies room and your p.r. people are there and they're on the phone trying to, like, get out ahead of the story and your management people are saying, Let's pull the hair back, let's re-accessorize, and I'm going, hey, Duct Tape, and I wrap, like, fifty yards of it around me, and it's so cool, like, it's BLACK and it has this multi-angularity and it's like a totally new look, the psychopathic mummy look, it is so NOW it is so HERE. And the next week your picture is front page, Style Section. They call it THE EMILY look. And you're a star. I want to thank my mom for believing in me, and I want to thank Brent for being there, and I want to thank my guru, and I want to thank my posse Melissa and Lindsay and Stephanie and Megan and I want to thank God and most of all I want to thank duct tape.

GK: Thank you, supermodel Emily Maxwell. Duct tape....it's almost just about the only thing you need sometimes, duct tape. (DUCKS) A message from the American Duct Tape Council.