|
|
|
Fearmonger's Shoppe (GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell, RD: Rich Dworsky)
Ketchup Advisory Board
GK: ... brought to you by the Ketchup Advisory Board. TR: Once there was a town where everyone was very deeply into the arts. Moms and dads came home from work and went to the theater or to hear the symphony and on weekends children begged to be taken to museums. Murals appeared on the sides of buildings, everyone was in a book club and busy writing poetry or fiction. Shops were filled with the sound of Haydn and Mozart. And thanks to that, the I.Q.s of children rose higher and higher, and they all went to prestigious colleges and earned doctorates in math and physics and got lucrative jobs in high-tech companies and when they were thirty they cashed in their stock options and retired and started writing their memoirs, and soon there was nobody left who had time to attend the theater, everyone was too busy exploring their own sensibility, and so the theater went dark, and the orchestra, and the museums, and in a few years, though the parents were all writers and terribly sensitive, their children were all into Nintendos and Pokemons and body-piercing and really gross humor, and their I.Q.s dropped and one day it rained hard and the parents looked out the windows of their studios and saw the children standing outside, soaked to the skin, water running down their little pointy heads, and the parents thought, "Maybe we're not getting enough ketchup." So they started putting ketchup on their food and they realized that their memoirs were really crummy and not worth writing and soon they started a theater and everyone went to plays and concerts of Mozart and everything was the way it used to be except that they were all a little bit smarter. All the best that a ketchup can be. RD (sings): GK: Ketchup: for the good times. RD: Ketchup, ketchup, ketchup.
(c) 2000 by Garrison Keillor |
Sign up here for our weekly e-pistle about what's happening at A Prairie Home Companion! Heck, while you're there, sign up for the daily e-mail from The Writer's Almanac too |