APHC: Saturday, June 3, 2000

Roy's Rent-A-Dog
Saturday, June 3, 2000
Listen

(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell)

GK: Our show brought to you by Roy's Rent-A-Dog ---- (BARKS) providing different dogs for different stuff. For security, a giant mastiff (BLOODTHIRSTY SNARL) ---- a dog that stands about five feet high at the shoulders and drips spit and has red glowing eyes and just scares the cookies out of people ---- (BLOODTHIRSTY SNARL) ----- or for crowd control, say, if you're putting on a big party, a collie (WOOF) ---- a gentle dog that herds your guests into the living room (WOOFS) and then into the dining room (WOOFS) ---- guards against anyone putting a wet glass on your end table (SLIGHT GROWL) ---- and lets everyone know when it's time to go home (SHARP BARKS). And then for when you're all alone late at night on the porch and you're thinking, Boy, life sure didn't turn out the way I thought it was going to. Maybe it didn't, but life is not bad when you've got Rex (PANTING, COLLAR JINGLING) sitting by your feet, and you reach down and scratch his old head (PANTING, JINGLING, FOOT THUMPING) and somehow you feel like yourself again. There's no explaining a dog. One more reason to call Roy's Rent A Dog for all your canine needs....whether you need a faithful friend (SFX), a hunter (SFX), a sentry (SFX), or a show dog (SFX), rent your next dog from Roy----