American Duct Tape Council
Saturday, October 21, 2000
(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell)
....brought to you by the American Duct Tape Council, and here for duct tape is supermodel Cynthia Maxwell.
SS: When a woman gets to that certain age, you notice certain changes, like your jawline maybe is not so firm, there's a sort of vagueness there, and terrible things are happening with your neck and under your chin, even though you've kept yourself hydrated and moisturized and you've gone to the club three times a week and you only eat parsnips and arugula. Sometimes the force of gravity is not our friend.
Time to try wearing a turtle-neck pullover and use flesh-colored duct tape to keep your neck taut and youthful. Just one of the helpful tips in my Cynthia Maxwell Career Girl handbook which shows you how to have an awesome career and be a killer in meetings and still be devastatingly beautiful and yet self-assertive so you can get like this incredible compensation package and how to lose ten pounds in two days when you really really really need to and how to triple your money in six months on the stock market and still be able to drive him crazy in bed using only a spatula and a roll of duct tape.
GK: A message from American Duct Tape Council (QUACKS)---- duct tape, it's almost all you need sometimes.
(c) 2000 by Garrison Keillor