Iniquity on the Tunda
Saturday, January 6, 2001
(GK: Garrison Keillor, TR: Tim Russell, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, CK: Charles Keating)
GK: --- coming up later on many of these stations, stay tuned for Iniquity on the Tundra --- (ORGAN THEME) the story of man's base nature and how avarice and moral turpitude thrive even in cold climates ----- (ORGAN BRIDGE)
CK: Carol, I know you're a devout Lutheran and the mother of four children and you're married to Ken, my pastor, but nonetheless, I lust for your body and I want to throw everything away so that you and I can run away together and rip the clothes off each other.
SS: You want to run away where?
CK: I want to give up everything I have, my family, my career, and take you to Italy and rip your clothes off and enjoy complete sexual abandon and delight you in every way I possibly can, stopping at nothing.
SS: Whereabouts in Italy are you thinking about running away to?
CK: I want to give up my life, my family, my dreams, and take you to Rome and rip your clothes off and make love to you in ways you've never known and take you to heights of ecstasy you never dreamed possible in this life.
SS: I read somewhere that Rome is really incredibly dirty.
CK: Carol, I want to fly you to Rome and take you to a hotel and rip your clothes off and express a physical longing that I've felt since I first met you and take you to heights you never dreamed possible in this life.
SS: But I like these clothes.
CK: I know. But I lust for your body, and I long to rip those clothes off you, tear them away in a frenzy of mindless desire, and take you to heights of ecstasy you never dreamed possible. Why are you looking at me like that?
SS: Wouldn't it be possible to just----- remove my clothes and hang them on a chair?
CK: But I want to rip your clothes off you in a frenzy of desire and----
SS: ----and take me to heights of ecstasy I never dreamed possible---- I know. How about I bring along some old clothes and I change into them and you can rip those clothes off me?
CK: I'm crazy about you! Can't you see that?? I want to give up everything for you!! And go with you to Rome in a delirium of ecstasy!! And all you can think of is your clothing????
SS: Why is that a problem for you if, before you rip the clothes off me, I change into my old clothes?
CK: Why can't you let go and live????
SS: I just want to be able to decide which clothes you're going to rip off me.
CK: I'm going to take you to such heights of ecstasy, it won't matter!
SS: I don't mind the ecstasy, I just want to be able to change clothes first.
CK: Why are you like this???
SS: I can't help it. I'm a Minnesotan.
CK: CRY OF ANGUISH (ORGAN STING)
GK: It's "Iniquity on the Tundra"----- coming up later on many of these stations. (ORGAN BUTTON)
(c) 2000 by Garrison Keillor