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The Old Storyteller ……coming up later on many of these stations, Back When Things Were Different, with Uncle Jeb the Old Storyteller and another thrilling tale of life in the Old West. (OLD WEST THEME, UNDER) TR (GABBY): Yessir, young uns, this is your Uncle Jeb settin down on the front porch with another story for you. Excuse me, young whippersnappers. (HE HAWKS AND SPITS A WAD, DING OF THE SPITTOON). Some of you have asked me about this here fur vest I wear --- and when people ask me about it, I like to say, What fur? Get it? What fur. Little joke. Anyways, back when I was your age, wearing fur wasn't a fashion statement, it was a way to show your place in the food chain. In those days it was wear or be worn. And Laramie started out as a trading post for trappers. There was a fort here called Fort John. It was a rest stop on the Oregano Trail that all those Italian pioneers followed on their way to San Francisco to open up restaurants. Later, Laramie was a way station for the Pony Express, the service you used when it absolutely, positively had to be there this month or next. And then came the Union Pacific railroad and then came Big Bud, the famous desperado and gunslinger. He challenged me to meet him at high noon on the main street of Laramie and resolve things once and for all. I said, Bud, noon isn't good for me, I got a dental appointment, how about twelve-thirty. He said I can't make twelve-thirty, I gotta lunch date then. He said, could you make it at eleven? I said, at eleven I'm supposed to meet with the schoolmarm, how about one-fifteen. He said, Maybe I could move my lunch date up and meet you at one-thirty. Let me check on that and he was looking at his datebook and I shot him and I stole his datebook and I got Miss Lucy's phone number out of it and the names of other girls and, boy, that was about the best summer I ever had. Yessirree bob. That was back in the early days, young timers. Back when things were different. (HE HAWKS AND SPITS AND COUGHS A HACKING COUGH)….. ….Uncle Jeb, the Old Storyteller, coming up later on many of these stations on Back When Things Were Different. © Garrison Keillor 2001, with material from Dan Fiorella |
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Now Available:
A Christmas Blizzard
GK's New Holiday Story
A comic novella about a Hawaii-bound holiday traveler who ends up stranded in his North Dakota hometown.
Audio edition also available»
The Prairie Home cruise has become legendary on two of the Seven Seas and now is setting sail on a third, a weeklong spring break cruise of the western Caribbean along the Mexican coast, and it leaves March 14 from Tampa.
Stories of a Wobegon romance far from home, all delivered with Garrison Keillor's trademark humor.
Read the first chapter»Signed Copies Available»
The latest collection of Lake Wobegon short stories gathered from live broadcasts include Confirmation Sunday, the church directory photos, Pastor Ingqvist's leather bound sermons along with song lyrics and the "95 Theses," among others. Companion audio also available.
Order now!»