APHC: Saturday, June 16, 2001

Memphis, Tennessee
Saturday, June 16, 2001
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Long distance information give me Memphis, Tennessee
Someone down at FedEx trying to get in touch with me
They came here with a package but nobody was home
So they went back to the warehouse and they called us on the phone.

Help me information, I have no time to waste
I forget the number, the ticket's been misplaced
The wedding's in an hour when she and I'll be hitched
It's a package from my dentist, and it's my lower bridge.

I got my hair cut yesterday, I'm wearing my new tux,
We're going on a honeymoon that costs a thousand bucks.
I bought her the big diamond, and a fancy bridal wreathe,
But I don't think she'll marry me if I don't get my teeth.

Help me information, and call Federal Express.
If they could meet me at the church, that would be the best.
I'll be in the parking lot, so tell them hurry please,
My car's the one with tin cans and the windows smeared with cheese.

I'll be looking for the truck, hoping that it comes.
Hoping that my false teeth fit nicely on my gums.
Long distance information, don't hang up on me,
I'm chewin more than I bit off in Memphis, Tennessee.