A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

Choral Blues
Saturday, November 17, 2001
Listen

I've got the choral blues, I've been riding on the choral bus
I want to be a singer but I'm feeling ignominious
I want to be me but instead I have to be us.

I can't find my note, I don't know where it's at
Cause the sopranos are sharp and the basses are always flat
And there's an alto who sounds like somebody stepped on the cat.

Yes, there's an alto here who sings like an opera star
She's singing loud and her phrasing is so bizarre
And her vibrato's so big you could drive in and park your car.

There's somebody near me who's wearing a strong perfume
I don't know who it is --- a soprano, I presume---
And there's hairspray here that's strong enough to clear the room.

You've got to stand on your feet for about four hours or so,
Stand up tall in your place in a nice straight row
And you can't ever leave even though you really need to go.

We're a Lutheran choir so we have to sing Bach all the time
"Ein Feste Burg" --- the Lutheran "Auld Lang Syne" ---
I'd like to sing the blues but I don't dare get out of line.

I've got the choral blues and I don't know what to do,
I've got the choral blues and I don't know what to do,
Except sing those blues and give the blues to you.
Except sing those blues and give the blues to you.

© Garrison Keillor 2001