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Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie GK: …….this portion of our show brought to you by Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie. Rhubarb……..it's the secret of the good life as we know it ---- nothing takes the taste of shame and humiliation out of your mouth quite like Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie. (AMBIENCE, BEACH & SURF) (SLOWLY, INDOLENTLY) GK: Beautiful place. SS: Yes. Incredibly beautiful. GK: I've been looking forward to this. SS: So have I. The water, the sky, they're like a whole different shade of blue. The vegetation too. The flowers. It's incredibly beautiful. GK: What time is it back home? SS: Five thirty. GK: I wonder if the plumber came. SS: What plumber? For what? GK: It's nothing. A leak in the basement. I noticed it when I went down to get the suitcases. Coming out of a pipe by the furnace. SS: Hw bad was it? GK: Well, it was sort of gushing, but I'm sure it's all right. SS: Gushing!!?? GK: I mean, there's a drain in the floor. Right? It'll just drain right out. SS: You never said anything---- GK: I didn't want to get you upset. SS: It must've been bad if you called a plumber. GK: It was sort of gushing, but I'm sure it's all right. Just relax, okay? Just relax. We're on vacation. Let's enjoy it. SS: Honey, all my paintings are down there in the basement. Right next to the furnace room. There must be eighty or ninety canvases down there. GK: I'm aware of that. I called the plumber before we left the house, I told him the key would be on the Christmas wreath and he said he could come either today or next Tuesday. SS: Next Tuesday! GK: Well, that's what he said. SS: We're going to let water gush until Tuesday??? GK: It was the best I could do. Okay? We were rushing around packing and the dog was upset and ---- SS: Mitzi! Oh my gosh---- GK: What? SS: I forgot to call the neighbors and tell them to feed Mitzi. Oh God. Where is my mind?? What is happening to me? I forgot about Mitzi. SS: She's probably dead. GK: She probably found food somewhere. In the garbage. SS: I put the garbage out in the garbage can. Oh my god. I'm sitting here on a beach in Hawaii and my dog is dying and my art is under three feet of water. Is that insane or what? GK: There's food on the counter in the pantry. SS: Potatoes and onions. You think a dog is going to eat raw potatoes and onions?? GK: There were some bananas. And sugarless gum. SS: Mitzi does not eat bananas. Or chew gum. GK: Well, if she were hungry she would. SS: Would you call the plumber and ask him to feed Mitzi? GK: Okay. You got the cellphone? SS: Here. GK: (KEYS OF CELLPHONE, ELEVEN DIGITS) (PAUSE) Hello. This is Earl Wyandotte from over on Auburn Avenue---- I talked to somebody there last Wednesday about fixing a leak in the basement and I'm just wondering if he might have taken care of that by now. I think his name was Ed. This is the house where the key is in the Christmas wreath. Okay? Bye now. Happy New Year. Bye. (CLICK) SS: How in the world are they going to make sense of that? GK: We'll just wait and see. SS: A couple feet of water and --- it'll all be wiped out. All those seascapes. My southwest pictures. The dog pictures. A lifetime of work. GK: Well, we have quite a few of your paintings hanging upstairs, don't forget. SS: A few, yes, but---- GK: Thirty-seven to be exact. Some of them rather large. SS: You never cared about my art, did you. You'd be happy to see it destroyed in a flood. GK: That's not true. I like your art. A lot of it I do. SS: I can't believe this is happening to me. My paintings ruined. My dog dead. My dearest friend. My Mitzi. GK: The dog is eighteen years old, Janet. SS: What does that have to do with anything? Huh? Why do you even say that? TR: Hi, Janet. SS: Sam! Hi---- You're here?? TR: Yeah. Came yesterday. Hi, Earl. GK: Hi. TR: We were at the pool and I saw you down here. Guess we're staying in the same hotel. So how've you been? You look terrific. SS: Thanks. I'm fine. How're you? TR: Fine. --- I remarried last April, you know. SS: I didn't know!! Well, congratulations. I'm very happy for you. Really. TR: Thanks. Yeah. She's terrific. Her name's Janet too. Isn't that a coincidence? SS: Really???? TR: So how's Mitzi? SS: (SHE BURSTS INTO TEARS) Oh it's too much. I can't stand it. TR: What's the problem? SS:(SNIFFLING) I'm sorry. It's just that---- Earl left the water running and all my paintings are lost and Mitzi starved to death. She's dead, Sam. Gone. Our Mitzi. GK: I didn't leave the water running, there was a leak in the basement. SS: Oh, it's the same thing, isn't it. GK: No, it's not at all. TR: You got a cellphone? Here --- let me call a plumber I know in the neighborhood. (ELEVEN DIGITS, DIALLED RAPIDLY) (PAUSE FOR RING AND PICKUP) Hi. Jack? Sam here. Listen. Janet's got a problem at her house. Could you go over to my house and just inside the back door, there's a rack of keys --- take the one labeled Janet, and go over to 1346 Auburn and let yourself in and see if there's a leak in the basement, and also, the dog needs to be fed. Thanks, Jack. (CLICK) SS: Oh, Sam. You're an angel. GK: He has a key to our house??? Him??? SS: It was a very amicable divorce, Earl. Very amicable. And I gave the key to him in case of an emergency. TR: Hey, Janet ---- that bathing suit. Isn't that the same one you wore when you and I came here? GK: You came here with him? You never told me. TR: On our honeymoon. (RING, CELLPHONE) Hello? Oh, hi, Jack. ---- Okay. ---- Good. ---- Great. ---- Thanks, Jack. (CLICK, HANG UP) That was Jack. He checked your basement and everything's fine, no water, and Ellie was feeding Mitzi and she's fine, too. SS: Oh, Sam. Thank you, thank you, thank you. How can I thank you?? You saved my life, Sam. TR: It's nothing. My pleasure. Have fun, you two. Bye. (PAUSE) SS: I'm going back to the room. GK: Janet---- SS: Don't speak to me. GK: (RHUBARB THEME) Wouldn't this be a good time for a piece of rhubarb pie? Yes, nothing gets the taste of fear and humiliation out of your mouth like Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie. One little thing can revive a guy, TRIO: © Garrison Keillor 2001 |
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Singer and songwriter Andra Suchy talks about singing duets with Garrison, and her latest album, Little Heart.
Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976
Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).
