Duct Tape
Saturday, March 2, 2002
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(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott: TR: Tim Russell, TK:Tom Keith; RD: Rich Dworsky)

GK: ……brought to you by the American Duct Tape Council (DUCKS), and here for duct tape is international supermodel, Cynthia Maxwell.

SS: When you are a totally awesome supermodel with a body to die for, it's like really really really important to go to the gym every day and do situps until you puke and to maintain a special diet of food-like substances so you can fit in your size one-and-a-half low-rider jeans and cut-off shirt and keep your belly button, like, taut --- and believe me, it's not easy ---- and you get like really really really hungry sometimes so if you should walk past a room with this, like, buffet out on the table, sometimes you like lose control and before you know it you're scarfing up cold cuts and cheese with both hands like you were a coyote in a chicken coop. That's why whenever I go where food might be present I always tape my ankles together with duct tape.

GK: A message from the American Duct Tape Council. (DUCKS) Duct tape, it's almost the only thing you need sometimes.

© Garrison Keillor 2002

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