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Kansas/Missouri (MUSIC) GK: Let's talk about Sound Effects as a career choice for your
child. Many children become fascinated with making realistic sounds, starting
with everyone's favorite, passing gas, (FART) and including household
pets (CAT) (DOG) (PARROT) (FISH) and pets passing gas (CAT, CAT FART).
Gradually you learn to do guns (GUNFIRE) and from old war movies you pick
up other things (ARTILLERY. PLANE STRAFING. MACHINE GUNS BLAZING. SUBMARINE
KLAXON, "DIVE, DIVE") and you pick up other things from National
Geographic specials (MONKEYS, JUNGLE BIRDS, ELEPHANT) and pretty soon
you think, "Maybe I could do this for a living." SS: Does it require special talent to make a living in the sound
effects field? GK: Yes. It's a simple to do chickens (CHICKENS) and (COWS) and
(PIGS) even if you can do cows passing gas (COW, COW FART). On the other
hand, if you can do music (PIZZICATO STRINGS), and maybe a combination
of music and dance (TAP DANCING), or music performed by animals (DUCKS
BLUE DANUBE) or music with animals dancing (ORGAN GRINDER, MONKEY), then
you're way ahead of the game. SS: Is the field of sound effects open to women as well as men? GK: No. There are effects that girls simply cannot make. Girls
can't do a beer can being opened (CAN POP TOP) or a good golf shot (SWING,
CLIP OF BALL) or a golf shot that hits a cow (SWING, CLIP, FLIGHT OF BALL,
KONK, MOO) ---- or one that hits a cow and makes it pass gas (COW PAIN,
FART). Girls can't do rockets (ROCKETS) or jet planes going over (JETS).
SS: Where can my child get instruction in the art of sound effects? GK: The Fred Newman School of Audio Realism has often been called
"the Harvard of sound effects." It's at the Fred Newman school
that you move into the major leagues of sound, learning to do the nose
hum (NOSE HUM) and the fly on the windowsill (FLY) and the aquarium (AQUARIUM)
and the opening of the dog food can (DOG FOOD). SS: How much does it cost to send my child to The Fred Newman
School? GK: It costs $35,000 a year, but you learn the secrets of a top
professional. How to do a drain in a summer cabin (DRAIN) and a drained
car battery (STARTER), and how to do babies. Professor Newman does the
fussy baby (BABY ONE), the colicky baby with hiccups (BABY TWO), the jungle
baby whose cry makes you wonder if he's descended from you (BABY THREE),
the accusatory you-call-yourself-a-parent cry (BABY FOUR) and the baby
who is going down and taking you with him (BABY FIVE). It's the Fred Newman
School of Audio Reality. Send for a course catalogue today. Send 50 cents
in coin to (FRED DUCK VOICE)...that address once again is (FRED DOG VOICE)....it's
the name to trust when it comes to sound effects. (PIZZICATO, BOOMBOX,
DOG BARKS, DRAIN) © Garrison Keillor 2002 |
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Singer and songwriter Andra Suchy talks about singing duets with Garrison, and her latest album, Little Heart.
Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976
Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).
