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Catchup Advisory Board GK: …after a message from the Catchup Advisory Board. (MUSIC) TR: These are the good years for me and Barb. Our church choir
recorded a CD called "Songs of Becoming," and we've bought fifteen
copies for $3 apiece and that pretty well takes care of all the people
on our Christmas list who we don't like very much. The side air bags on
our new station wagon inflated when we closed the doors and shook us up
and a lawyer came around from the manufacturer with a settlement and now
it looks like we'll be able to repave the driveway. The kids are still
in their treatment programs and they don't call that often and whenever
they do they hardly ever shriek at us anymore. We should have been happy.
Then one evening I found Barb sitting out on the deck at our old redwood
picnic table, crying. - Honey, what's wrong? SS: (WEEPY) Oh, Jim. Tomorrow they deliver our new patio furniture.
And we'll have to say goodbye to our old picnic table. (BLOWS NOSE) Do
you realize how long we've had this? Practically our entire marriage.
TR: It's half rotten away, Barb. It smells of grape soda and rancid
animal fats. It's a breeding ground for disease. We can't eat at it anymore
because it makes us nauseous. SS: But we had so many good times at this table. Our babies sat
at this table. TR: They wore diapers, too, but we didn't save those, did we? SS: We ate all our meals out here when we had that gas leak. Remember
that? And that surprise party for your 50th? With that cake in the shape
of a big hearing aid? . TR: Right. We've been blessed with humorous friends. SS: Jim, how can we let this picnic table go to a landfill? This
table is our life! So many celebrations! We ate here after Jim, Jr. got
out of prison! Remember? TR: Barb, change is what renews us. You know that. SS: That sounds like something you heard in a sermon---- TR: I mean it. Change means renewal. SS: That substitute minister who filled in for Rev. Hanley when
he was recovering from his vasectomy. Wasn't that it? TR: Maybe it was in Readers Digest. SS: I hope Rev. Hanley's urologist didn't tell him that change
is renewal. TR: Barb, this is the table where we learned to appreciate ketchup
with all of its natural mellowing agents, and now the table is going,
but we'll always have ketchup to keep the memories warm and fresh. SS: Oh Jim. RD: These are the good years, the surf against the coast, GK: Ketchup… for the good times. RD: Ketchup… ketchup…. © Garrison Keillor 2002 |
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Now Available:
A Christmas Blizzard
GK's New Holiday Story
A comic novella about a Hawaii-bound holiday traveler who ends up stranded in his North Dakota hometown.
Audio edition also available»
The Prairie Home cruise has become legendary on two of the Seven Seas and now is setting sail on a third, a weeklong spring break cruise of the western Caribbean along the Mexican coast, and it leaves March 14 from Tampa.
Stories of a Wobegon romance far from home, all delivered with Garrison Keillor's trademark humor.
Read the first chapter»Signed Copies Available»
The latest collection of Lake Wobegon short stories gathered from live broadcasts include Confirmation Sunday, the church directory photos, Pastor Ingqvist's leather bound sermons along with song lyrics and the "95 Theses," among others. Companion audio also available.
Order now!»