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K. Boom Fireworks GK: … back to our show in a moment, but first this word
from K. Boom Fireworks. (GENTLE PIANO) TR: (SOFT) The Fourth of July is over. The cats have come out
from under the bed, the dogs have stopped freaking out, your neighbors
have forgiven you… because the fireworks have stopped. (SOUSA FANFARE) TR: (HARD SELL) The heck they have! Now is the time to buy fireworks
BY THE BOXFUL at our LOW LOW LOW after-holiday prices! I'm Kurt Boomer,
president of K-Boom Fireworks where our FOURTEEN-ACRE fireworks showroom
is still loaded with Fourth of July fun ---- marked down so you get more
bang (FIRECRACKER HISS THEN A SERIES OF BANGS) for your buck! All your
favorite fireworks, at prices so low you'll think I'm pulling your fuse!
Check out these values!! Black Cobra Bottle Rockets, package of 1,000…
your choice of small, medium or "High End Hearing Loss"….
only five dollars! (THREE BOTTLE ROCKETS UP AND EXPLODE) TR: And finally, our Days of Judgement combination rocket cluster,
Fountains of Hell, and exploding snakes……comes with $10,000
bail-bond guaranteed and the name of an excellent criminal attorney……yours
for just 89.95, no minors under 16 please. (SFX) You'll find a warehouse
of fireworks values…post-holiday prices that blow our competitors
out of the water! (EXPLOSION) GK: (DISCLAIMER) Be prepared to show 3 forms of ID and please
bring your prison record and release papers. Fireworks are illegal and
cannot be sold on the radio, so this is not an offer to sell nor an invitation
to shop, and yet if you were going to, wouldn't that big red warehouse
on Highway 53 just south of Prescott, Wisconsin, be a great location for
it? And wouldn't 9 AM to 11 PM be convenient hours? Especially if there
was plenty of free parking? (MUSIC UP, RESOLVE) © Garrison Keillor 2002 |
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Now Available:
A Christmas Blizzard
GK's New Holiday Story
A comic novella about a Hawaii-bound holiday traveler who ends up stranded in his North Dakota hometown.
Audio edition also available»
The Prairie Home cruise has become legendary on two of the Seven Seas and now is setting sail on a third, a weeklong spring break cruise of the western Caribbean along the Mexican coast, and it leaves March 14 from Tampa.
Stories of a Wobegon romance far from home, all delivered with Garrison Keillor's trademark humor.
Read the first chapter»Signed Copies Available»
The latest collection of Lake Wobegon short stories gathered from live broadcasts include Confirmation Sunday, the church directory photos, Pastor Ingqvist's leather bound sermons along with song lyrics and the "95 Theses," among others. Companion audio also available.
Order now!»