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Catchup Advisory Board GK:...brought to you by the Catchup Advisory Board.... TR: These are the good years for Barb and me. After thirteen years,
we finished putting up the new paneling in the basement, and most of the
panels run straight up and down just like in the diagram. Our financial
advisor told us that he forgot to invest all that money in AOL Time Warner
that we gave him three years ago and it's been sitting in a money market
account, earning three and three quarters percent interest. We stayed
home and didn't attend the neighborhood block party where they used a
hot tub to cook the lobster and it just wasn't a happy time for those
people at all. And then our associate pastor, Faith Gunderson, the one
who gave all those snippy sermons, was arrested for having a basement
full of stolen auto parts. We should have been happy. And then, the other
night, Barb said ---- SS: Jim, why don't we have monogrammed towels? TR: We've got towels with the Hilton monogram. SS: I want towels with our initials on them. Come out of a steaming
hot shower and wrap myself in a towel with the initials B & J on it.
TR: Are you saying the hot water heater's been fixed? SS: What do you have against monogrammed towels, Jim? TR: Barb, to me monograms represent the onset of middle age. Like
potpourri dishes or eyeglass holders. SS: Jim---- are you involved with someone with different initials?
Is that it? TR: Barb, our marriage is strong and vital, thanks to ketchup.
Ketchup has natural mellowing agents that make a person feel as though
the whole world has your name on it. SS: Oh, Jim… TR: Let's write our initials on some hamburgers in ketchup…
right now… RD: These are the good years --- of earth and sea and sun, RD: Ketchup…..Ketchup. © Garrison Keillor 2002 |
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Now Available:
A Christmas Blizzard
GK's New Holiday Story
A comic novella about a Hawaii-bound holiday traveler who ends up stranded in his North Dakota hometown.
Audio edition also available»
The Prairie Home cruise has become legendary on two of the Seven Seas and now is setting sail on a third, a weeklong spring break cruise of the western Caribbean along the Mexican coast, and it leaves March 14 from Tampa.
Stories of a Wobegon romance far from home, all delivered with Garrison Keillor's trademark humor.
Read the first chapter»Signed Copies Available»
The latest collection of Lake Wobegon short stories gathered from live broadcasts include Confirmation Sunday, the church directory photos, Pastor Ingqvist's leather bound sermons along with song lyrics and the "95 Theses," among others. Companion audio also available.
Order now!»